A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

[Anastasia]

My heart is heavy, thinking of you sweet, precious @Emelia8 🙏💕

[Emelia8]

🙏💔😔

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Emelia8  .... 🤍🤍🤍

[Clawde]

Stay strong my friend have said and talked many prayers for you and your inner circle love you @Emelia8 ❤️

[BlueBay]

Can't stop thinking about you my beautiful friend @Emelia8  ❤️❤️🙏💐

[Lee82]

Beautiful Em. Thinking of you. I know at this time looking after yourself is probably the last thing on your mind but please try and make sure you are drinking water and eating something. Sending you all the strength I have to help you through this. I am holding your hand. 

you were your hubby's rock my love. You looked after him so very very well. Making sure he had what he needed and making sure he took his medication and got him to every appointment he had. In NO WAY did you fail him. please keep saying that in your head. You need to believe that. You were an amazingly beautiful wife. 

@Emelia8 we are all here for you to help you through this but I am hoping you have family around you at this time and you are not by yourself. You are important to us and we all care so very deeply about you. Please try and take care of you. 

[Emelia8]

Thank you so so much everyone 💕

Been awake all night reliving it all again. Trying to get his heart pumping again and breath back into his lungs, as we waited for the ambulance. And I did get him back. He spoke to me and I assured him the ambulance was on its way. He understood.The first paramedic arrived only 5 mins after my 000 call. He lives just round the corner. He was off duty but they sent him as situation was dire. Ambulance and 4 more paras arrived maybe 5 mins later. They lost him again, no breath no pulse, before rescusitating him with the machines. Finally onto stretcher and into ambulance. They told me it wasnt looking good, but they were doing all they could.

Followed ambulance to hospital. Unable to see him for about an hour until they could revive and stabilise him a bit.

Then I was allowed to see him. He was aware and talking, but difficulty breathing and very cold. No pain he told me. I was only in there for a few minutes b4 he went into cardiac arrest again, and I was shunted back out. 

I had to wait in a quiet lounge area ... used for people with loved ones dying. They sent the social worker to stay with me for the day. She was lovely and I was thankful. I sensed he wasnt going to make it this time.

I heard the helicopter land, ready to take him to one of the city hospitals.

After another very long wait ... at least an hour I think ... then the emergency Dr came in, along with the head nurse and the receptionist (who I know). They told me they had not been able to save him.

He had suffered a heart attack when at home, and at least one more in hospital. Likely sparked by a pulmonary embolism. He has had one of those in the past, while in hospital for encephalitis. And he was at risk of PEs due to having cancer and a family history, with his mum dying of that too.

All his recent tests ... Chest xray, lung function tests, heart echo ... all came back normal, so hubbys GP tells me. He rang me after being contacted by the hospital and being asked if he was prepared to write a death certificate.

They let me in to see him again. He was cold, no colour, cuts and bruising on his chest. I held his hand and rested my head on his chest. I stayed with him for a couple of hours. By the end my brother arrived and he sat with us for a while too.

I had to deal with 2 burley police officers. An unexpected death requires investigating I know. But really, does it have to be when Im spending my last hours with my dead husband?

Feeling so terribly lost, numb, disbelief.

Em

[Lee82]

Here with you em. By your side.

i am so very very sorry. There are no words that will help. 
sending you lots of gentle hugs 

❤️💙💜💛🧡💚❤️

@Emelia8 

[Bow]

Woke up thinking of you this morning @Emelia8  

[Owlunar]

@Emelia8 

Ah Em

You were the first thing I thought about this morning when I woke up and I am amazed at the out-pouring of love for you here on the site - you are much loved - you have given so much of yourself here

What a story - yesterday was one terrible day for you - and then you were awake all night reliving it I am sure

Yes - two burly policemen - they certainly do look big in all their gear - I come from a police family and so the police are normal for me - but this is not always the case for other people. I am sure it was another thing you could have done without when they turned up during your last minutes with the husband you had done so much for

We are all here obviously Em - caring so much - and when words are all we have our words are more precious

My best thoughts for you today and going forward Em

Dec