SANE Online Forums
Saving Lives. Crisis Support. Suicide Prevention.
@Emelia8 Right now nothing seems real or right and there are no words that can take away your pain but you also have Holly that loves you unconditionally and needs you. You have done everything you could for your Hubby for so long Hon and right now we are only concerned for you - how you are, what you need and how we can support you. There really are no words that can 'fix' this or help but hoping that the real and genuine love that everyone has for you here provides a soft place for you to fall. Lean on those that want to help, allow yourself to do and feel what you need and know that everyone here is with you for whatever you need 
Aw Em -
I do understand that you have lost what has been the focus of your life for a long time but you haven't failed your husband - people die - everyone does - and it is an incredibly painful part of life to get past it
I felt for some time that I had failed my son and his birth mother when he died - time passed and I focused on what I had done for him - I had given so much of myself and he died anyway -
The truth is that people give so much of themselves through other people's life-times that with time we can focus on the scope of events and thank God for the time we shared
I know this will be a time when you are caught up with many different emotions and you will feel alone. We will be with you as much as we can which maybe doesn't seem like much
What I remember most about what other people did when my son died was all the flowers people sent to the house - the house was full of them - so I did search for some virtual flowers for you and here is another one -
Thinking of you - knowing there are no right words at such a time - but I am sending words anyway because that is all we have
Dec
@Emelia8((((( Em ))))) I'm so very sorry heart:
Dear Emelia8, I can’t believe this has happened to you, not now, you’re both too young and you’ve fought so hard, especially recently. Tonight, after picking up on the community sadness for you, here on the forums, and scrolling back to see what has happened, my heart just sank to read your words “He has died, whatever shall I do?” Oh Em, I prayed “dear God help Em” And then I remembered... to think of the trauma you must have gone through this day, how it must be replaying over and over in your mind, trying to ‘fix’ it... oh, I know, it's so very hard. Not one of us the same of cause, but I know and do care for you, you’ve been so good to me and through so much. Please tell us you’re not alone tonight? Please stay connected and take all the support offered you. Lots of rest and self care, and cups of tea... I’ve been dunking ginger biscuits all day today, after a teary day yesterday, it helps you know, to dunk bikkies, especialli in hot white tea. Rest up precious lady. Walking with you. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Dear @Emelia8 I know you'll be flat out irl for a while, hopefully with family gathering. No matter how sick someone is it still hits hard and everyone is in shock. I hope people are kind. When I read your words: “My only reason for living, my one purpose left in life... is now gone” Oh precious Emelia. As a sole parent with only my 12yr old daughter left at home, and have her taken away from me so suddenly, oh God knows, that ‘empty nest’ on top of grief… it’s so cruel. I so relate to these words of yours. It really does FEEL like there’s nothing left to live for. And I think its more so for carers because we give our all, we literally put them before ourselves 24/7 and now we’re expected to not do that. Oh boy, this is a hard shift to make in your day to day functioning and thoughts. You must give yourself time Em. This is huge. And of cause he was also your husband who you loved so much, thick and thin, and you always will. Please be strong for us - if not for yourself at first. We need you too. If you are on your own tonight, please self-care+++ and if you can - connect with us here as many times as you can, if it helps. Every couple of hours would be good if you’re awake. Someone will be here. Oh dear, I wish I could come stay in your spare room and make tea for you and sit on your veranda with you, I’ll bring flowers and my rocking chair. Sip tea all day together. You will get through this. Walking with you Em
