Lived Experience Forum

[ClockFace]

I just went and saw my Mum, its near enough to 1am, I slept this afternoon for quite a while but Im gearing up to go back to bed soon.

When I walked in she was kinda slumped over her overway, with an unlit smoke in her hand. I told her to go to bed but I dont think it registered what I had said. She started to talk, so I sat with her a bit, its not uncommon that we have a yarn at this hour lately. As she continued to talk after a while she started to slump over herself again and it was just a babble of random, unintelligible words. I said to her just that and she sprouted up and said adamantly that she wasnt and then started to recite what she had intended to say. I cut her off and told her it wasnt what was being said and then said she needs to go to bed. Well, that set her off, you would have thought I told her to stop breathing. I reiterated that she was slumped over when I came in, she is dropping things, she is slurring her words and talking gibberish she needs to go to sleep.

I cant remember exactly what I said but the response was I just might to that, permanently. Just remember that. This being in reference to her taking her life. I snapped, right or wrong, this put me over the edge and said that that was the most horrible thing she has ever said to me and to never say it again. I mean, I heard that it would be my fault if she did.

Her response was to tell me not to point my finger at her. Again I cant remember what I said but it was responded to with, where you going to go? Like I have no choice but to deal with living at home, like she has me trapped. Then it was something about who you going to, there’s no one down there. Im not sure what that meant. I told her Im not talking to her and left.

Its time she actually did something about her mental health, its taken forever but she is getting a mental health care plan in a week or so. She does have a psychiatrist but apparently its been some years since she went. Im so done tonight.

Physically, I need the support of my Dad, I have a few conditions and disabilities. Mentally, I dont get support from either. Ive applied for NDIS and Im hoping with their support that I will be able to make a plan to leave home again. I cant deal with her issues and mine, especially if she wont get serious about getting help. This has been going on for many years, its not a new thing.

[BPDSurvivor]

I hope you are all okay. I first thought you mum was unwell @ClockFace 

all the best for today

[defaultusername]

Hi @ClockFace,

Thank you for sharing what sounds like a very difficult situation for you...

When you say she reacted badly to something that was said, perhaps she may have been a bit embarrassed with how you found her in a bit of a vulnerable state? As unpleasant as it was, I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you...

It's lovely that you're there for your mother, but it does sound like you may need a break (if possible), or to at least focus on your own wellbeing for a bit. Because, as they say, we can't "pour from an empty cup" and sometimes we just need to put ourselves first as a part of self-care...

That's great she will be having a mental health care plan organised soon, I hope she can find the support that she needs. Which will in turn help you and your father as well.

In saying that, do you have any supports? Like a mental health friendly GP or mental health professional?

That's unfortunate that you've been feeling trapped at home, but that's great that you may be getting an NDIS package soon which will help make life easier for you.

How are things at home today?


Know that you're not alone,

defaultusername