Depression Dementia Dad

[Former-Member]

Thanks you @Owlunar, you put so much into your posts, a way with words. And experienced with many similar matters. I could go back as dads 'carer' but adding another two heads to the beurocratic mahem (public guardian, public trustee), nope, I'm not jumping through their hoops too, for a job I was doing just fine without the strange gov penpusher with zero emotional investment in NY family. What a joke. Maybe if I meet a face and things are explained to me, how MUCH extra pressure they're gonna put me under... honestly, I have more self respect. Maybe its my turn to just be 'the visiting' relative, like the other lazies

Hey I woke not crying today - the Lord has helped me out of a dark place.

Have you unpacked? How's the cat?

[Smc]

@Former-Member, does the public guardian actually care for the person they're assigned to, or do they ensure that a carer is in place if needed? If it's the latter, they may either involve a third person as a paid carer, or place your Dad in a permanent aged care place, if there is no day to day care being provided by family members.

This point is an unfamiliar one to me, but wondering if it's something you need to find out about?

[Former-Member]

Good point @Smc, I am carer, if I bail one of my drug adic brothers will move in (for money), or try to, which will put dad at risk. Public Guardian are not carers, they don't provide 24hr 'in home carers' (only suckers like me do that). So, I've arranged with the Residential facility he's in (for respite stay), to increase his time to 60 days by which time Public Guardian should have hopefully been appointed.

[Shaz51]

I am carer for my mum too sis @Former-Member xxxx

Hello @Smc, @Owlunar, @Former-Member, @outlander

[Shaz51]

thinking of you lots my @Former-Member xoxoxox

[Smc]

@Shaz51@Former-Member, my sister and I are kind of in the opposite position- we're guardians/power of attornies for both our parents, but because they're in an aged care home, not officially their carers. Being carers as well would not be possible for either of us.

[Former-Member]

I hear you @Smc, and @Shaz51. I think you can be a 'carer' and not LIVE with the carer (is that a word?) which is what you do i think Shaz51? My dad is at risk living alone.
Normally, people appoint their own enduring guardian and POA but my parents didn't, didn't even do a proper will and dad is no longer capable of understanding a simple bank statement,vor the Guardianship letter just sent to him (drr, I'm so not impressed with NCAT processes, poor dad, these ppl are not welcome in my family and that I will make very clear). Bit like when family court ordered me to let my girl have access alone with her father when Child Safety investigations found her 'at risk of sexual harm' OMG, just realised why this whole thing has distressed me so. Need to withdraw, sorry, I'm so crazy mad. Sorry I've taken it out on tge wrong people, and become so unlovable. Its suck a messed up world

[Faith-and-Hope]

💓💓💓 @Former-Member ....

[Smc]

Hey @Former-Member, if anyone's good at telling the difference between distressed and unloveable, it's probably us forum-ites. Consider us to have "broad shoulders". x

My Mum is still mentally competent. My Dad isn't any more. If we hadn't got POA sorted when we did, we may have missed our window. The catalyst for getting it done was when my Dad had a health scare and needed to be admitted to a "big city" hospital. Looking over his diabetes record book and other household "clues" after they went into aged care, he seems to have declined after the hospital stay, and probably at that point crossed the line between competent and not.

I'm sad to hear what happened to your daughter. Please consider though, this guardianship arrangement is a different situation. They may not be the uncaring pen pushers you think they are. Your best chance for seeing your father well cared for is quite likely to be working with them, not against them.

[Former-Member]

You're 400% right @Smc, and a 'person' talks to me... of cause I'll put on my 'professional' face for them. They don't know dad, and he can't communicate well, so they'll be 'guessing' what he wants... Well, you know. What might be more helpful is hearing from carers who actualluactually have had Public Guardian tell them what's best for their loved oneone, and how they coped with that.