Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Razzle]

Hi @Shaz51 👋 

This last weekend was probably the

lonliest I’ve felt in a long time.  There were a lot of family functions - none local though, or what my mum would have found enjoyable so I stayed home with her.  Everyone else in my family went away for the weekend and I felt like I had just been left behind.  My SIL texted Saturday night and sent some photos of the party she was at - with the message “this is what you are missing out on”. I don’t think she meant to be

mean, but it was hurtful.  

[Razzle]

Thanks @nashy 

[Shaz51]

sending you understanding hugs @Razzle ,

[Shaz51]

also @Razzle  you were there for your mum which was very nice and important my friend xxx

I have missed lots of things too but being there for your mum xxx

@Former-Member,

sending you hugs @Sally 

[Sally]

That's true - my mother is my dark "skeleton' in the closet.  I find even working as an allied health professional that it is not unusual for some of my peers as well as others socially to have the attitude "feel so sorry for someone with THAT" or "that's the worst, so thankful/thank God that's not me/ my family" as if you're talking about the plague.  When I responded back to another worker that someone in my family actually has schizophrenia when they said that, they went strangely silent - maybe embarassed?? 

Unfortunately societal atittudes towards psychotic illness are still very backward - admit someone in your family has it and watch how fast some people back off.  It's only in recent years - a childhood friend who knew what I went through, and whose stepson has since been diagnosed as a young adult - that I now have someone to talk to occasionally who has some inkling of the challenges.  However, it's not the same for them.  Having a parent with SMI, delusions, and paranoia, who never met your needs as a child, but whose needs instead that you had to fulfil while ensuring everyone else was safe.  I remember someone else saying that as a child of a parent with mental illness you spend your life always feeling isolated - it's true to a degree, although good friends help.

[Razzle]

@Shaz51  I feel like I made the right decision to move in and care for her, which was a huge relief for my brothers. 

But now, its like because I’m here she’s no longer their problem, they’ve moved on with their lives, nothing has really changed for them, and I dont feel like they have any regard for me.   

I dont expect them to sit home and let life pass them by just because I’m kind of stuck in that position, but I don’t need them rubbing my nose in it either.