Lived Experience Forum

[Birdofparadise8]

I'll be honest: why does it hurt so much when someone leaves, though they will return? I know why they are leaving for a good reason @Shaz51 

[PinkFlamingo]

Aw, @Birdofparadise8 , I’m so sorry sweetness 🫂🫂💜🌺

sounds very emotional right now 💜

hugs for you dearest, and sitting with you in your sadness - you’re not alone sweets 🌺🫂

[Birdofparadise8]

Thank you @PinkFlamingo 

I'm sad someone is leaving for a bit. 

I feel like such a bad person making it about me. 

[creative_writer]

@PinkFlamingo it certainly looks peaceful. Nature can be so soothing 💖

I guess it’ll be different with the right person. My brain likes to go ahead of itself. I think I’ll need to marry someone who is willing to hold the space and is willing to give me the space to work on my own healing.

@ENKELI take care of yourself, hun. You are in my thoughts, wishing you the best 💖🫂

[Birdofparadise8]

HI @Jynx 

[tonys]

Well .. I'm standing in the long que off people that will really miss you @ENKELI .  I have half a ticket

and you have the other half..   Wont feel quite right until we stick that ticket back together.

Pass my very best to those you hold dearest, and a big bear hug . .   me to you my friend..        tonys

[Shaz51]

Sending you lots of understanding hugs my friend @Birdofparadise8 xx 

[PinkFlamingo]

Makes sense to feel sad if someone is not going to be around for a little while @Birdofparadise8 , especially when considering the friendship and mutual support has been regular, and there’ll be a bit of a break from that… change and adjustment is hard, particularly when taking into account how important connections are 🙂💜🌺

I’d think it’s pretty normal to feel a sense of loss; I don’t see that as selfish at all 🙂💜🫂 

[Birdofparadise8]

Okay, thank you @PinkFlamingo @Shaz51 

I feel as if I need to get a grip or something. I've been crying for like 40 min now. I just keep thinking of the connection and all that like you said @PinkFlamingo. 

Yes, regularity. I hate change. 

I don't want to say too much to upset anyone. 

[Jynx]

@Birdofparadise8 Lol... Here's me in the middle of writing up a post to ya, then I see your notification! Hey to you too hun. Here's what I was gonna say ~

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@Birdofparadise8 wrote:

I'll be honest: why does it hurt so much when someone leaves, though they will return? I know why they are leaving for a good reason @Shaz51 

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It's okay to be hurting, and feel suddenly vaulted out of your window of tolerance in this situation hun. Even when logic-brain knows that the person will return, emotion-brain doesn't always listen to logic. Sometimes, when that part of us has been activated, we just gotta sit with it - I find it helpful to be gentle with it, talk to it like it's a small child, like, "Hey, I know it hurts. It's okay that it hurts, cos it reminds us of those painful memories and the people we've lost... but these feelings will pass, and this time it's not forever, so now we can look forward to that person's return!"

It's not 'making it all about you', it's just you expressing that you're having a heightened emotional response. I don't think anyone here would say that the way you're reacting is wrong.