Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

[Schitzo]

@MDT

  you are not a loser,  please don't ever think that. you never know what surprises next year has in store for you. It may turn out to be your year 🌞

[MDT]

Thank you @Schitzo 🙂

[MDT]

I editted my CV and uploaded it to seek even though i really didn't want to

a victory I think

nothing else to say for today

night all

[TAB]

sounds like me in early 20 s @MDT  things may need a push

[Maggie]

@MDT  I can hear you are sad. You don’t have to be sorry.

Life can take some different , and unexpected turns. I know it’s a rough time right now, but hang in there.

Take care. 💙💙

[MDT]

Hi

[Owlunar]

@MDT  wrote

I feel like a loser because I probably am.

The pits - life can only get better if you shake of the cloud

Aw Hamza - that is such a bleak statement - you must feel drained and helpless to say that - and I believe you feel that - but I don't agree - I think you are much better than that - and you need to take stock - and it sounds as if you are in the process of doing that and I hope things feel better for you as you work through it

So you are working in the public service - and it is not what they sold you when you started there - and I really understand that. You definitely need something more stimulating - the politics are tough and I think that people working there are forced into unhappy situations - it sounds as if your job entirely lacks imagination - 

At this stage almost any job would be better - so it seems - you sound totally exhausted and disillusioned

I could say forget about your HECS debt and study something that would stimulate you. Did you finish a degree? - and whether you finished or not - what were you studying? And did you enjoy it?

What I did - and  suggest this to you - is to study something you really like without thinking too much about what you will do with studies in that area. I am a writer and I got into English, Philosophy and Linguistics etc - and I really did enjoy myself. It really enhanced my whole life and yes - my writing improved because of what I was studying. Every day of my life is better because of what I studied and I made my choices - not what other people suggested

It's vital to make your own choices - it empowers you - you can become your own person enhancing your own life

The job you have now is destroying you - it is so obvious - if you choose to stay there - there is a way of making it your job - taking it own like a challenge - but the environment sounds arid - and I know there are places like that

All the best Hamza - 

Dec

[MDT]

Hi @Owlunar as usual you pose some thought provoking things.

I'll answer your questions in order.

Yes I finished a degree in 2018. I did a BA majority in government and international relations. Yes I enjoyed it. Very much so.
It hasnt got me anywhere.

You are right that presently my job is crushing me. Today I feel terrible.

I am thinking of contacting my psych and asking him to fill out an application for medical leave.

Idk. I am in all sorts today and sad. Depressed and feeling hopeless.

I actually am the most stuck I have ever been before in my life. I'm really tired atm too.

I hate a lot right now.

I'm sorry. I may go to hospital tonight after work because I am having SI

[TideisTurning]

Hi @MDT, I'm really sorry to hear things are tough for you at the moment and that you feel stuck. I'm also seeing a lot of insight as you're able to identify what might be happening for you and start putting plans in place to manage and cope with this. I hope things will start to feel better soon. 

TideisTurning

[Owlunar]

@MDT 

That's being very honest and realistic Hamza - I know it's hard to work out when to act on making changes and seeing your doctor is a good idea

Frankly - staying in a job you hate until you have SI is a sign you have given it all you can - and working in Government and International Relations would be great - where you are now has been draining your confidence - you can do much better

I wish you the best - how tired you must be

And congrats on your degree - I graduated with BA (Hons) back in 1993 - one of the great moments of my life - it took me 12 years studying part time and I was middle-aged when I got there - we need those great moments to carry us forward - it has been a battle for you at this job

It can only get better if you make a new start

Dec