I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

[outlander]

@Sans911its just everything. there is nothing new. its all the same all the time. when im happy. im made to feel really bad and guilty about it. then i get the attitudes off everyone. 

one of the episodes that happened this afternoon is they were all talking and laughing and packing the car etc and then when i walked out they stopped talking and went about what they needed to do. i asked if they needed help and they said no. so i walked away and went back in side and then they started talking again. 

there were 2 other incidents today but i dont really want to talk about them but they are almost the same thing but different scenarios. this isnt the first times its happened. 

where does that leave me, what am i suppose to do with those feelings that it give me? 

[Sans911]

@outlander - that's harsh hun, really harsh. I don't really have any answers right now for you. That must feel so awful, and yes, I understand, what do do with those feelings?

I guess all you can do is surround yourself with people that care, that invite you openly into their lives and spaces, that want you to be yourself, and that they care, genuinely care about you & making you feel loved, inclusive and special. While that may only be here for now, try to let that be what makes you feel good about yourself. You can't change other people, but you can change how you react about their treatment of you. It's not easy, not easy at all, but perhaps that's what you need to do.

[outlander]

its not the first time its happened either 😞 i dont know what else to do except sit here and hope they get the hell out of my hosue as fast as possible so that i can get away from them all. it is very clear how they feel about me and what they think about me isnt it. @Sans911 

i have no one else, like many others, lost everything when my mh came around. 

its a harsh world we live in isnt it

i dont think i can say much else. it wont really help the way im feeling. so i think ill just sit here for abit.

[Sans911]

@outlander - brooding on it doesn't make it better does it? You just have to reach down inside you and find that better person that is you. You are better than they are. You are not insensitive or cruel.

[outlander]

@Sans911no your right, it doesnt help either. i dont know how much further i can reach. ive already hit my soul and its dark in there too.  if i could find somewhere to stay like a respite centre id be there myself till they move out. i hate being here. ive been looking at furniture and accessories and was going well. started to do Cheerbears ideas of pinterest boards and i couldnt do it anymore. i hated looking anymore becasue even that week seems so far away. 

[MDT]

@outlander
you must remember that you are not what they say you are
you are much loved and valued member of this community and i know im not the only one who says this.. you do help many people on here and you are a good friend for people to reach out to
mental health is a suckish things but i guess thats how it is hey?
whats been going on anyway?

[outlander]

thanks @MDT 

[outlander]

@Sans911@Former-Memberi need to log out for a while. not really handling anything atm. 

stupid life

[Former-Member]

@outlanderi am hearing you sis, just don't know what to say. But am sitting with you 

[Shaz51]

sitting with you @outlander