I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

[Former-Member]

@outlanderhi sis, how are you going this afternoon?

[outlander]

@Former-Member ❤ as well as i can be. Trying to control the kidney pain which feels like its getting worse not better and trying to manage the fever that likes to go up to 38.5

[Former-Member]

@outlanderthat doesn't sound good hun. You probably are already, but are you taking something for the pain and temp? 

[Owlunar]

Hi @outlander

Since I met you here you have had one thing after another and that is really hard to work out - as if you had to do a year's filing one one day - and what do you do with all the info when you do?

Yes - this is interesting and challenging but not impossible - but here's a thing - all the events and mistakes and decisons and stuff - everything - is in the past and there is nothing at all you can do to change any of that - so - make it a point to send those thoughts of defeat into orbit when they confront you - and that is easier said than done but you can't start this any earlier

Dealing with a chronic illness is really hard - I can speak from experience - and had I realised 22 years ago that I would still have chronic spinal pain toward the end of 2017 I really don't know what I would have done with that information - but here I am and I have learned day by day - as you will learn - 

Your latest hospital visit is in the past now and one of those things that can't be changed but ask yourself what have your learned? One thing would be that a panic attack can get totally out of control and your day by day exercise here is learning to breathe slowly and steadily before you get so badly out of control - and practice this - ands this to is easier said than done

Dealing with your home-life is something to work out with your MH professionals - and you do have to learn to stand up to your mother - this issue comes out though your story in bright red shining flashing capitals - and the only way you can get her respect is to insist on it - and we can help here - you are being heard - and from where I stand your difficulties in life start there - so again - forget the past - or try to - and stick to your guns - you are and adult and deserve to be treated as one - again - easier said than done

Again - work out your responsibities with your MH professionals - we can talk about that here too - 

The idea is to move forward - this is a new day - tomorrow is another new day - and we can help - it's just breaking down each task you have listed and changing things a bit at a time and when the past rears it's head - practise breathing before things get out of hand and don't fall back there

You know the truth - you know your story - I can tell you I need to tell my story a couple of times a year and rely on Life Line for that - it gets less necessary all the time as I tell the story I know backward and often feel sick and tired of all of it

Take your time - we all care about you here - you still need and have our support

Dec

Also - I will be out for a while - I have to have my knee xrayed for the Orthopaedic Surgeon - no appointment required so I have no idea how long I have to wait - so I must be off 

[CheerBear]

That's kind of what I was thinking your list might look like @outlander. There are some 'big' problems there and I can definitely see how things feel really tough for you sometimes.

Handling the latest diagnoses (because that's what you wrote first).

Is there anything to you that stands out in terms of the options to solve the problem?

Drawing from my experience with pretty tricky physical health stuff (and just using this one "options" tool for guidance, rather than the skills that accompany them that I am hoping to learn over time)

1. Solve the problem - for me that means making sure I'm armed with information about what's happening so I can make informed decisions. It means learning how to obtain that information if I don't have it, working on being able to ask questions so I can get a good picture of it all, ask for what I do want and say no to things I don't. It means working with medical professionals to make plans to treat my conditions and then sticking with them.

2. Feel better about the problem. Seriously tricky one for me when it comes to physical health, as maybe you might find too? The only thing I can think of for me is to do what I can do for my health to make sure I am as healthy as I can be. Sometimes I vent about it and cry about it. Sometimes (not often) I laugh about it too. Sometimes those things help me a bit but really, I don't feel ok about what happens with my body, so option 2 is maybe not a great option for me.

3. Tolerate the problem - for me that means working to accept the very painful reality that this is what it is. And it sucks. And I didn't deserve it (as you do not either). My psych taught me a really cool trick with acceptance. To think of it as like being at a vending machine and really, really busting for a cold drink. You have a couple of dollars in your pocket (no more), you put it in the machine but it eats your money and you don't get your drink. What do you do? You could fight it (but that could cause more problems and you still wouldn't get your drink), or you walk away. Acceptance doesn't mean you approve of something, and it doesn't make it righ, but it means realising that it is what it is right now and there's really not much you can do about it.

(Health problems are not bottles of coke - I really feel the need to say that haha).

4. Stay miserable - totally legit option too.

Does that kind of make sense? It does help me to see that there are ways I can approach the problem, but I know it might not be everyone's thing too.

[outlander]

@Former-Member the pain is getting really bad i dont know what the hecks going on
Yeah im on abs and antiflames and pai relief
If it cant get it to settled it might be an ed job aus its bad. Ive never had anything like this before

@Owlunar @CheerBear will get back to you guys in a sec just need the computer and im on my phone

[Zoe7]

@outlander this is what Bella and I were talking with you about Hon. Maybe this is time for self-care if the pain is so bad and heading it off now before it gets any worse - ie GP or ed. It is ok to let us know how much pain you are feeling but instead of saying that several times - is it actually the time now to take some action to try to resolve the pain. I say this purely because it seems that you are starting to get overwhelmed with the pain and the obvious step to take here is to get some help to try and get some relief.

[Former-Member]

@outlandersis, if the pain is getting worse you probably do need to get it checked out. Worse that your temp is still high. 

[outlander]

Ok @Zoe7 @Former-Member

[outlander]

@CheerBear

Ok ive had a read of how youve described each of these options... 1 & 2 are the best ones i think
So what next? If im already doing all the right things for these under the instruction of my gp then what?
Just a note- thr leatest diagnoses cant be gotten rid of so cant solve it in that sense....