The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Sans911 ..... thought I would offer you a cozy book-nook to curl up in .....

Or a book cave to lose yourself in for a while .......

❤️

Has your housemate dropped in for her stuff yet ?

[Jupiter]

That first one looks like such a cosy little nook! @Faith-and-Hope

[Faith-and-Hope]

Yeah @Jupiter ..... but I have the feeling that the second one is more up @Sans911 ‘s alley ..... 😏

[Sans911]

@Faith-and-Hope - I did exactly what you described, almost word for word before I said I wasn't tolerating a phone call like this & hung up. I went one step further today & complained to the organisation. I got further invalidated by my local mh community team who told me to take a prn and see if that would help. At that point that I was at, I was too escalated to wait an hour for a prn to work. Granted, I probably could have taken it earlier. But my escalation to distressing levels is very fast & very acute.

The issue is that both my local mh team and this crisis organisation are aware of how to respond to me as they have been told on several occasions what works for me, how to help me by being active listeners & that invalidating remarks will only serve to fan the suicidal flames. So they either choose not to read these notes or they act without thought or compassion.

[Snowie]

@Sans911I am sorry you had to go through that  Got no other words but sitting with you 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Ouch @Sans911 ...... 😔💜

I remember clearly how painful it was ..... and with our circumstances as they are, the invalidation patterns have emerged under my own roof now ..... so I have taken the liberty of distancing myself from others within my wider circle who carry these traits, so as to try to create some cushion and some balance.  The ones close to me apply it as self-defence and a reaction to overload ..... for the ones in the outer circle, it’s sport .....

How are you managing tonight ?  Have you taken a pm now to help you cope with the aftermath ?

I am so proud of you for speaking up for yourself.  For a long time I just ignored and absorbed.  I needed to learn the skills you have just applied, and I am so angry on your behalf that the measures that were supposed to help protect you weren’t applied ..... grrrrr .... 😡

Can this be followed through in writing ..... and can the suicide prevention organisation you are involved in, or your involvement position be included to add a bit of clout ?  It is so important that those on the lived experience side of mental health care are given recognition for what they know, experiencing life from the inside out.  The greatest medical breakthroughs in history have come from people walking the walk instead of just talking the talk ..... and this is a highly pertinent field of medicine.

[Sans911]

I've done all I can & want to do at this point @Faith-and-Hope @Snowie. My GP is not happy with me at all for SH (and I could have lied but that doesn't serve any purpose in recovery), but more out of concern for my health & potential permanent harm than anger.

There will be more complaints made soon of other staff responsible for vicarious trauma. Being treated injustly is helping me to fuel the passion for change, and I've joined others that are just as passionate as myself. I want to be a voice of advocacy for others less able than I to help them through these horrendous treatments by mh clinicians and others.

I am still suicidal at times, that hasn't left entirely because there are major stressors so great that can't be removed. I'm trying to put in counter measures to avoid SH, like making agreements with someone to meet up for a morning walk, but last week was a pressure cooker ready to explode.

My house mate has picked up the last of her stuff, and admits to stealing my card out of desperation, so I have her admission by text, but she hasn't agreed yet to come with me to the police. She tried to hug me today but I remained stiff & unyielding - not usual for me. I have to remain emotionaless and unyielding in this situation because I have already invested so much emotion. I won't be dragged down again.

I went to a craft group this afternoon after she left. I chatted to others, made some cards and laughed genuine laughter. I've also put in other strategies to help me manage financially in the next few months.

So the upshot of this essay is that I might be down right now, but I still have my reserves of resilience and justice that are pulling me through such trying days that are yet to come

[Faith-and-Hope]

WTG @Sans911 ..... I am so glad to hear it ..... in particular that you took yourself off to making cards, chatting, and genuine laughter at craft group ..... I think that is the most positive thing to have done with the mess ..... and given you a chance to distance, breathe, and process .....

I was the first person in the lives of my invalidators to not respond with passive-aggressive vindictiveness (not in my nature), but to lay it out loud and clear that their behaviour sucked and I wouldn’t be tolerating it any more, after having tried everything I knew .... from diplomacy to turning the other cheek, responding with kindness to nastiness, etc .....

I salute you being stiff and cool with your house-mate .... if there aren’t consequences, how can they c9me to terms with the seriousness of what they have done, and understand that behaviours like that have the power to break relationships ?

Hugs n hugs @Sans911 ..... hold to your courage and convictions ..... ❣️

[Snowie]

@Sans911I am super proud of you. You have put a smile on my face.

You have stood up to your ex-housemate and are finding your voice. I hope you are proud of yourself. You have come such a long way in a short amount of time. 

[outlander]

@Snowie@Sans911@Faith-and-Hope