Lived Experience Forum

[LostAngel]

sorry for the heavy subject matter but heres hoping this is still a secure and safe place to share my thoughts, to start with put plainly I feel Ive been to hell and back over the last say week or so with various issues but the one situation Im about to talk about here tops them all , I have recently discovered in great fact and detail that Ive been catfished online and its beyound devastating,The trauma of losing what I thought was a real relationship ,gathered it was all online but still devastated it all came about cause I discovered after 2 years that the photos and videos of him have in fact been stolen by a well known blogger if this wasnt bad enough ,I was informed by my bank that I have been participating in Money Laundering /Financial Fraud from my account due to sending this guy money through my account ,needless to say I have been quivering in my boots over the last week scared with worry that either the Fedreal Police will show up to my door to either question or arrest me for said money laundering ,on top of that My Bank account has had to become Blacklisted which means I dont have Access to my own money currently ,and to really top it off its sent me into a mental health crash of 3 days of depression ,fear,worry ,and I went silent on talking to the scammer while essentially grieving what I thought was real ,which also ment I spiralled into thoughts of s multiple times but thank goodness I havnt acted on it ,meanwhile the scammer has kept sending emails,and all manner of messages trying to reach me ,and Ive been trying to screenshot evidence,yes its been reported to my Bank ,and the police as my complete Identity information has also been stolen ,and it feels like Im living a nightmare of a movie plot ,not to mention the emotions of a relationship breakdown ,on top of that I have decided to contact the scammer only for a short time and work up the courage to confront them with my realisation ,as yet Im having a hard time confronting them so am just playing along with their usual messages for now but will most definetly be confronting and then blocking them when I feel strong enough to ,this has also ruined my prospects of getting a police check done for my workplace and also means I no longer trust my bank aswell as the scammer, its alot ,alot to deal with and I keep telling myself I cant deal with it all so am just at home constantly watching movies and sleeping alot to cope ,its a big mess to clean up and I have no choice but to try to clean it up but I havnt gotten through all those steps yet,a word of warning be very carefull that your identity is kept safe and secure otherwise this can happen to you too,please be carefull out there its not a safe world

[Jynx]

Oh my goodness @LostAngel that is so devastating! I'm really, truly so sorry for the loss, grief, pain, and distress that this kind of situation would cause. I think it's okay to feel the need to hide yourself away for a while, and to just take it very slowly/one step at a time. Do you have legal representation/support yet? You could contact Legal Aid for some advice on your best bet for navigating this - it would be deeply unfair to end up with a black mark on your record for someone else's horrific and predatory crime. I know it might be a pretty intense thing for you right now but I'd still recommend contacting them as soon as possible to ensure you're doing everything you can to prove your innocence. How truly cruel this person is to have done this to you. No one deserves to be strung along or to have their name dragged through the mud like that. 

Do you have some decent mental health supports in place to help you navigate this MH crash that has (very understandably) hit you? 

Sending some very big hugs, that is so rough hun 💜🫂

[Tilz]

@LostAngel  sorry to hear that. This can be really useful to someone. Whatever gone is gone. Give up on those now. Don't worry thinking about that. Really be careful with the online scammers. How are you now?

[LostAngel]

thank you @Jynx I really appreciate it , @Tilz also Thank you ,now this is gonna sound totally elogical but for now I one havnt confronted the Scammer Directly ,but also 2 havnt quite blocked them yet ,I know its elogical ,I guess my reasoning is to gather evidence but I have been a little shall we say reckless in the process cause my brain and emotions is allover the place ,believe me Im trying to find a way to end things on my terms ,Ive been angry ,numb,scared,feeling vengefull ,heartbroken ,emotional but as yet I strangely have experienced every emotion except I haant cried yet ,cant seem to cry ,but do feel depressed alot ,then sort of upbeat then down again ,The steps I have taken is my bank is secure as such ,I have reported to cyber crime website ,Ive notified ID Care which is a place that deals with identity theft ,Ive spoken to lifeline ,but have found 1800 respect the most helpfull so far as its retriggoring some things from the previos in person relationship that was abusive ,I was on the phone today with 1800 respect and kind of self blaming ,questioning ect ,you see theres a deep seated lonliness but unfortuenetly my attachments to trauma inducing relationships I dont fully understand why this keeps happening to me ,choosing the wrong people to be with first in person now online ,Im kind of in emotional limbo and honestly dont want to leave the house untill sometime next week ,I am trying to distance from scammer but its gonna take a little longer to fully block which probly isnt helping butt how do I even get a form of closure in this sort of situation ,Im getting there but its slow going to fully make up my mind to end it and put a full stop to it ,I know I have to though for my own sake to heal

[Tilz]

@LostAngel  really appreciate it. Slow going will help you. I'm sure you will heal soon. We are holding hands with you. ❤️

[LilMapleLeaf]

@LostAngel 

Wow. Thats insane. I can only imagine what you're going through. I'm not sure if you have but it might be worth while reaching out to scam watch. They are a government organisation to help stop scams in Australia

This is their website:

https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/ 

And this is the page on what to do if you have been scammed:

https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/protect-yourself/what-to-do-if-youve-been-scammed 

I believe you can also contact them and they can help you with next steps.

I really hope this helps!

[LostAngel]

@LilMapleLeaf @Tilz @Jynx Im feeling angry today rather than down ,although yesterday was a good day I got out into the fresh air and went for a walk ,but todays another story ,getting angry and isolating again ,I dont particully want to talk today so phone calls will go unanswered,I have had food but am preety much hold up at home again,Just angry so angry I made up my mind I was going to confront scammer but then thought best not to ,instead still trying to gather evidence,one positive though I now have finally regained access to my own money , but now Im thinking I may have to somehow buy a new phone as the bank wont allow me to have internet banking untill they know the device is clean ,no malware,which I understand so maybe I should just get a whole nother phone to again start fresh and basically reset things like phone number ect ,email passwords are reset ,license not sure how to fix that being breached, but hey at least access to my funds again which of course means buying food ,petrol and essentials ,as for the scammer well Im kind of playing private eye on my own researching ,but I still havnt managed to fully stop talking to him yet but Because I know this person if I can even call them a person cause who does this sort of thing to people? I am taking my control of any converstions ,he doesnt know I know ,but I am getting bored with the sharade im doing to gather extra evidence,mainly Im trying to find out what was his end goal,his intentions was it purely for money? was it sickly for the thrill of control over women? what was is goal ? ,now I shouldnt be talking to him in any compacity really but its taking time for my heart to let go ,even though logically his romancing was all a fantasy fasade ,I mean I am stuck between ,confronting for full ansewrs if i even get answers or blocking and never knowing this cruel persons intentions ,so still in limbo but Im taking some sense of control over conversations cause Im aware now ,just waiting for my heart to catch up so I can break things off completely ,Ive given myself a time frame of when to break it off ,completely 

[Jynx]

@LostAngel I think it's normal for your emotions to be a bit of a rollercoaster at the moment! 

I'm glad you've been taking the steps needed to sort through this mess, and that you've also set yourself a time limit. I think it is understandable for it to be difficult to cut ties, because our emotional brains and our logic brains don't always see things the same way! So long as you're doing what you can to keep yourself safe, and not being too hard on yourself either 💜

[Tilz]

@LostAngel  i know how hard its lostangel. But you know that exactly what his intension was. He will never do like this if he really cares you. Your heart will accept that fact soon. So till that hold strong. we are with you. Btw try to take a phone and make your passwords and privacy secure. Make sure everything in perfect hand. You are an angel who are not lost but strongly fighting for everything.

[LostAngel]

thank you @Jynx and @Tilz I appreciate your support so much , as it stands now Im doing my best and Ive decided breaking this situation is very very close