hello @utopia
Read your journal on how you are feeling in hospital.
It is such a rollercoaster ride. The process of realising that you need to go in, then waiting to hear when, then admitted, then adjusting to unfamiliar surroundings, different bed, hospital bed! hospital pillow! noisy staff, patients, lights on, torches at night.
Groups walking and yoga sound like easiest way out for them to pay someone minimum wage.
Your psychiatrist unfortunately is trying to help you but bound by the ever almighty workcover, government department. Their principle of helping is to get you into hospital (they are seen to be ticking all boxes) bandaid assistance as in 5 days then out you go.
Your psychiatrist is on the ball and requesting extended stay which is so good for you. He may be governed by how many days at a time he can request for extension. He has to play their game as they have so much power. You may find closer to the end of the next 5 days, that he is willing to ask for another extension if you are still not showing signs of improvement.
All of this is very hard for you.
Feeling the full range of emotions whilst in there is what generally happens to patients. That sense of being able to let go of so much that has been held on to, contained, buried.
You are a very intelligent person Utopia and have insight about your illness. You will get through this, try as hard as it is to concentrate on each day not how long your stay is. That way you are taking the pressure off yourself. You are not repeatedly telling yourself that you are unwell and can't do it. You are allowing yourself to just be you and this will help your recovery in the long run.
You are correct about the alcohol. alcohol is usually used as self-medication because the person has the depression which has become too much. alcohol itself is a depressant and exacerbates the existing depression even though appearing to help in the short term. the alcohol masks the depressive feelings.
There is a period of detoxing depending on the person, the type of alcohol and the amount consumed as well as over how long a period. You dont need to concern yourself with this though. You do not need to feel guilty. You have more than enough on your plate with the depression. So focus on the depression, talking about the depression with your psychiatrist. Seek out staff whom you trust and can relate to. They are not all compassionate and good listeners even within the private sector.
You have every right to be in the hospital, one day at a time, looking after you.
I apologise if I have gone on and on as usual. This is my compassion. I give this to you as you are one of many on here whom I feel for. look after utopia xxxx
