My Hospital Stay

[utopia]

@Sahara @Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope.
Sounds like a new Forum Thread is on its way - The Tiny House Movement.
Almost time for dinner

[oceangirl]

Hi @utopia 

thinking of you hon. hope you get excellent care with your new specialist.

[Former-Member]

Hey @utopia, 

just dropping in to say hi and I hope you're getting that rest you deserve. Woohoo 🙌 on getting a single room. That is pretty much the most important part I think. The first time I ended up in the psych ward it was in what looked like a dog box. It was pretty archaic. They've now built a new purpose built building with rooms more like motel rooms. 

Im hoping your getting your brain ready for lots of aha moments and building on the good stuff. It's so great you've been given a second chance with someone who seems to have you at the centre of everything. 

Sending you some native flowers to add to your scenery. 

I love grevilleas and how they attract birds. Hoping to have a garden full one day. 

Take good care of you 💜🤗💐

[Bast]

Hi @utopia @Former-Member @oceangirl @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar 

Hi Utopia

Thank you again for sharing what is happening to you - I am glad that you have been able to negotiate for a half dose of the AP I suspect it is the big O. It is just so awful to think that your mind is going away during treatment. My mind was fluctuatung prior to treatment and it was like being completely zapped once treatment started. 

I hung on and eventually the constant sooking stopped. 
And then the anxiety party restarted and became agitation. 

From there the treatment mix was upped, added to and titrated down. I had a sever mallergic reaction to 2 althernatives. That was not fun.

And then.....Off to the ward in a PH - no meds no nothing for 10 days. Finally escaped and really did the deed. Back again on a ward and speaciled and awaiting surgery and an acute bed, I was fortunate the agency nurses were wonderful. 

From there finally the reitroduction of meds,the withdrawal had been horrific. L was added and it rocked my little world. And I was finally allowed out.I was further monitored for 5 days - I just kept telling them I was fine and dandy. 
They eventually went away.

Went to Gp had the dose of L upped to therapeutic levels, struggled to walk or think. Finally told GP I was struggling to function. GP reviewed the meds and reported incompatibly to the point of dangerous.

L ceased - and the sadness party continues

Regards Bast

[Bast]

Hi @utopia @Former-Member @oceangirl @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar 

Hi Utopia

Thank you again for sharing what is happening to you - I am glad that you have been able to negotiate for a half dose of the AP I suspect it is the big O. It is just so awful to think that your mind is going away during treatment. My mind was fluctuatung prior to treatment and it was like being completely zapped once treatment started. 

I hung on and eventually the constant sooking stopped. 
And then the anxiety party restarted and became agitation. 

From there the treatment mix was upped, added to and titrated down. I had a sever allergic reaction to 2 althernatives. That was not fun.

And then.....Off to the ward in a PH - no meds no nothing for 10 days. Finally escaped and really did the deed. Back again on a ward and speaciled and awaiting surgery and an acute bed, I was fortunate the agency nurses were wonderful. 

From there finally the reitroduction of meds,the withdrawal had been horrific. L was added and it rocked my little world. And I was finally allowed out.I was further monitored for 5 days - I just kept telling them I was fine and dandy. 
They eventually went away.

Went to Gp had the dose of L upped to therapeutic levels, struggled to walk or think. Finally told GP I was struggling to function. GP reviewed the meds and reported incompatibly to the point of dangerous.

L ceased - and the sadness party continues

Regards Bast

[utopia]

Part 3
Day 4 - Saturday.
Woke up feeling ok. No doped out feeling. Lucid. Such a good place to be ... lucid.
Had morning meds and then started the minor side effects. The permanent dry mouth. The sucking or smacking of my lips / mouth. The slight dizziness. The stoned feeling. But I wasn't feeling as zonked out as yesterday. Stilll felt stoned - especially after 2nd dose at midday. Stoned but could manage to giggle. (The stoner giggle - where only you find it funny).
Did a small art class today. Not Art Therapy. Am drawing and shading a tree. Couldn't find a Eucalypt picture - so think it's an elm I'm using for inspiration. Mainly interested in trying to focus on the shading and colours of the trunk.
Think it may look very much like a tree when I'm finished (very unusual for people to recognise what I'm drawing - you don't want me on your pictionary team).
So being stoned - might make me creative.
Momday my new psych is upping my new AD. - so will see how I go with dizziness.
I've been granted escorted leave on Monday. Mum and my niece are coming for a visit - so we'll go cose by and get yummy hot chocolates (not drinkers of tea or coffee).
I noticed I had feelings / emotions this morning. Rather than simply thinking of the logic - I could feel. Just enough to make me feel a little - but not too much that there is pain and tears.
11pmand I'm tired. So ready for bed.
Oh. By the way. Got the two long bits at the front of my hair dyed purple today. Have wanted to do that since last year. My son won't like it - even though it's only two small areas & it will wash out within 6 weeks. But he's still not talking to me.
I asked mum if he will come for a visit on Monday. She said a big NO.
She said every time my name is mentioned, that he gets teary and retreats to his room.
God that breaks my heart. And to think - I caused this pain he's going through.
He won't talk to anyone. Bottles up his emotions. I worry about him and I miss him do much. I just hope our relationship is fixable.
Night.

[outlander]

hi @utopia im glad your doing abit better

im not really in the right headspace for anything at the moment and have alot of dramas going on

i wish you the best though and good luck continuing your journey

big hugs to you

[Bast]

@Owlunar

Hi dec, 

Just wanted to thank you for the cat snoring, dream comments. All 6 of my furrbabies have little snoring habits and dreams at times. I always keep a motherly eye on them.

Sometimes they are moving their legs, like running in their sleep, they are easily soothed with pats and cuddles when this happens.

I hope your cat will respond to the same - alleviate distress, for whatever reason, whenever you can. Maybe salt water for the cat's mouth will help, if not not off to the vet the cat will have to go.

I adore my children - and will always do what is necessary to keep them well, after all we have mutual love.

Regards Bast

[Former-Member]

Hi @utopia

I wish you all the best for your hospital stay and that it will make you feel more level in the outside world.
How old is your son? He might just need to understand you better or perhaps he's just in a weird phase himself?

Thinking of you & so glad you have, even if it is tiny, a room with a view.

I'm seeing the outlines of our trees through my window now, I like night with lots of moon light when it doesn't really get dark, so I'll be watching the trees until I can sleep again.

Big hugs x

[utopia]

Part 3
Day 5 - Sunday morning.
Had a good sleep. Woke just b4 6.15am. Thought I'd pay the bills - had written a to do list last night & thought I'd work on that list before my meds - while still clear (ish) thinking.
Fire Alarm goes off. Everyone evacuated to the lounge area in our area. I was already there.
So I'm sitting on one of the couches with all the other patients in their pajamas.
Then I get a sense of dejavu.
So I say out loud "did we get a fire alarm last night". Yes! Sometime between midnight and 1am.
I'd seriously thought I'd dreamt it.
A nurse came into my room and was shaking my leg. "Fire Alarm - Evacuate". So I rolled out of bed. The bloody nurse had automatically shut my bedroom door. So I opdn my door & what did I see????
There is a giant running past my room - with his head turned towards me wearing a full head mask (see through).
So of course I yelled out a loud F word.
Then I see another man coming towards me. (I'm still in my doorway). He has his fire suit on and he stops and says to me, "false alarm. Go back to bed sweetheart".
So I did. Instantly asleep. That's why I thought I'd dreamt it.
The 'Giant' was a tall man in a fireman's suit. The mask was his breathing apparatus. He must have sounded like Darth Vader as he ran past. Lol. Now I've got the doped feeling - but the giggles are coming with this stoned feelingtoo.
Have had another 2 or 3 fire alarms go off since the 7am (ish) one. All deriving from the unit I'm on. Each resulting in the fire brigade coming out. Each resulting in no actual fire.
So looks like it's going to continue to be a bit of a stoned and giggly day.
Just hope the firemen don't come back after my noon meds - because then I'll be so zonked I will think there are Giant Darth Vadars attacking the building.
@Zoe7 - do you think there could be a range on new tshirt designs in this?
I'm thinking, maybe -
* I'm not delusional - it's just a false alarm.
Lol. Oh I do like that tshirt.