My Hospital Stay

[utopia]

♡♡♡♡♡

[oceangirl]

@utopia

Good luck for when you leave hospital tomorrow. I think the nurses have given you great advice re problem solving and breaking things down in small chunks. I have recently got out of hospital and I have found getting back into a routine so important and to have structure in my day. And I think you know yourself best and you know what works for you and everyone respond differently to things so do whatever is best for you. Do the things that gives you happiness and makes your life easier and reach out for help when you need it- majority of people are good people and will help you in whatever way they can. Safe travels tomorrow and look forward to hearing how you go over the next week. Stay in touch

[utopia]

Day 11 - Last post from hospital.
I have vacated my room. Must be out of room by 10am. Mum will be here around 12ish to pick me up. So I'm just hanging out in the smoko courtyard til then.
Woke often last night. Didn't have any anxiety. But it's like how it's hard to sleep the night before a new event.
Just finished speaking with my psychiatrist. I asked him to explain what my depression is and why he doesn't increase my anti depressants. He explained it very simply - and it made it so easy for me to understand & hopefully to shard with my family and friends.
He said:
There is inside depression - where there is a chemical imbalance in the brain.
And therd is external depression - where outside stressors become too intense and depression results. This is my type of depression. And this is why hd has said - with the help of my gp - he would like me over say, a ! 2 month period, he would like me to come off my antidepressant. Because it is designed for internal depression & there is no meds fof my depression.
He reinforced that I need to go back and start doing things that make me happy. He knows that's not easy. Just as I need to find meaningful work - again, hard where I live. Then he believes I will start building up my resistance to small stressors.
He also explained again, that by even having one drink - it will increase my depression ten fold and will lead to another and another drink.
I'm really happy with his explanation.
He is sending me home with a script for my two prn - a calmer and a sleeping tablet.
Anxiety now starting - but manageable.
I'll make a success of going home and continue getting better.

[outlander]

Well done @utopia
Im glad your psych explained that. Its very easy to understand the way he has said it.
Proud of you for getting the help you need and deserve. Well bloody done!!
Big hugs and kudos to you 👏👏:ok_hand:💪💚💚💓

[Change123]

@utopia WELL DONE!!

Yes when I had my review with a pysch about meds he told me the same thing with anxiety meds.  He upped it as you know but said if you dont feel better than its not due to unbalanced chemicals its internal anxiety that you need to deal with.

I hope all goes well for your 1st day at home.

[Former-Member]

Hi @utopia - I hope your day is peaceful. I attended a GROW group for about a year and it may be something you find helpful. The format is very structured in a way that I believe is similar to AA meetings. There are readings, affirmations etc. and you can contribute as much or as little as you want. Definitely give it a go, won't cost you anything and it's good to be among people who can give you peer support rather than professionals. It's all anonymous too so you can share as much as you feel comfortable with.

[Owlunar]

Hi @utopia

I was a member of GROW way back in the last millenium - and I guess it takes the people attending to make it work but it surely worked for me - I recommend it and hope you get as much out of it as I did

It seems you have reactive depression - as did I - and you are right - there is no medication for that - the psychiatrist who treated me told me I needed to be awake and alert and with   ADs it would have made me drowsy and unable to deal with my son - the cause (or one of them) of my reactive depression

That is so hard that you can't even have one more drink - the idea - ah wow - that would be so hard for you - I don't know what to say about that. It doesn't sound easy at all - I hope you wil be okay - I think that it will all be very hard and I am really sorry about all of this

Yes - the idea is to start doing the things that give your pleasure - getting back to work is a long term idea I guess - but I will be thinking of you

It sounds trite - it is trite - tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - so start gently

Lots of hugs

Dec

[utopia]

I've been home from hospital for 6 days now.
Many ups and downs. Actually more like many downs and managing moments.
Suicidal thoughts and an odd plan have occurred since I've been home. But I've managed to push those thoughts aside.
Still not ready to be the full time single parent I'm meant to be. But my son doesn't want to come home at the moment anyway. He won't even talk to me - so that has been a kick to the gut & heart.
At times of high stress or pain, I sleep. Sometimes I take one of the prn calming tablets my psychiatrist ordered.
It would have been better to have a longer stay in hospital - but I can't do anything about the decisions WorkCover makes.
Today is day 17 without a drink. Again - ups and downs. But I'm getting through the days.
Even managed a 2 hour drive up and around the mountains the other day. That was very relaxing. So plan to do it again this week.
Tomorrow morning is my first session with GROW -a mental health support group - in a nearby town. And tomorrow night is my first AA meeting.
So I'm making some changes and trying to look after my self care. Am managing to keep better sleep times than I did prior to hospital. But I definitely slept better in hospital, than here at home. Hospital still seems the safest place to be. Or where I feel safest.
But I'm getting through each day.

[outlander]

Well done on everyting you have been achieving @utopia
wow 17 days thats fantastic- keep up the good work
that relaxing drive sounds really nice
good luck at your GROW session tomorrow and your AA meeting
hugs and well done

[Former-Member]

Hi @utopia - sounds like you're doing really well. Don't be hard on yourself. I don't know how old your son is but I imagine it can't be easy for him. As someone who went through the same thing when I was a kid it does cause a lot of fear and uncertainty when you don't know what's going on. The first thing I would know would be a relative picking me up from school and nothing ever discussed. So my point being it's really important to keep him in the loop on everything that's happening even if it does involve some difficult conversations. I'm sure he'll come around, just give him time. Well done keeping off the drink, it's the right thing to do and everyday it will become easier. You should be proud of yourself.

Good luck with GROW - it will probably be a bit daunting at first but you don't have to participate or say anything you can just sit there and observe if that's what you're comfortable with. It does take a while to get your head around the affirmations and responses and readings but I do hope you can get some benefit from it. Take care and enjoy those mountains