My Hospital Stay

[utopia]

Day 6 - part 1
No news yet from Workcover. A nurse came and spoke to me this morning. She explained they won't just kick me out. If I'm sick enough for a CTO they will transfer me to a public hospital - while trying to get approval to come back here.
But as she said - I'm not sick enough for a CTO. If they don't hear from Workcover, I stay here - as it's Workcovers responsibility to tell them when my time is up.
Nurse R also said my psychiatrist is working behind the scenes to try and get Workcover to listen. There is another workcover patient going through the same issues at the moment.
It is very stressful and increases the anxiety so much.
So I know I'm safe at the moment - I hear that from Nurse R. But my brain and negative self talk doesn't believe it yet.
I went to one group called Surviving Emotional Distress. I struggled to understand a lot of it. He gave us a few handouts to read. I haven't read them yet.
Think I may ask for a prn to calm my nerves a bit. And then have a sleep.
Just that sensation of not knowing what to do. Knowing I'm here to get better - but not knowing how to do it.

[Former-Member]

🤞and 🙏 for you and....

@utopia

Another fave, common tea tree

💜🤗💐

[Shaz51]

thinking of you @utopia and sending you hugs my friend

[Former-Member]

hello @utopia @Former-Member

I know that you dont really want replies.

I promise i will keep it brief.

I just really feel for you having not that long ago come out of hospital.

It sounds as though you have a very good psychiatrist working behind the scenes. They dont all do that.

You have a nurse who also is explaining and reassuring how the almight workcover rule.

Let them worry about workcover. you  cant do anything yourself.

Negative brain talk I would think we all have that our patterned, programmed thinking.

You are getting up in the morning, showering, eating breakfast, going to some groups, lunch, dinner perhaps talking to a few people. You are surviving in hospital and are doing well. You are meant to slow right down to allow your physical body to heal as well as calm your mind.

try to distract, concentrate on your breathing and be kind to yourself with your own words. you are doing enough even though you think you dont know what to do. remember you are in hospital xxxx

[utopia]

Day 6 - part 2.
Nothing much to report. I have been given 4 hours leave - but don't want to take it. Sort of.
I'm in a hospital in inner city Melbourne. The crowds on the street are huge. It's one of the many popular shopping precincts of Melbourne. I've never been a fan of big crowds - but since my injury - I have a real aversion to them. Although I rarely get panic attacks anymore - I can feel the increase in my anxiety - that can lead to an attack. So all my energy is going on preventing the panic attacks from occurring.
So I'm not really wanting to walk alone in big crowds anymore.
One of the other patients here has kindly agreed to come with me tomorrow - as I have to go to Coles. I need some thongs - as the Hospital insists on footwear at all times inside the building. And I'm very much a barefoot sortof girl. So this guy is nice enough to take me to the shops, as he also needs to go ttomorrow. I'm hoping once I've done the walk once or twice with someone - then I may be more comfortable and less anxious - and I might be able to go on my own. I don't need 4 hours. Only 30 minutes. I feel safe in here.
I do hope that everyone is feeling calm and that your day has gone well.
Sending my love and best wishes to you all ♥♥. Sorry I can't add pictures. @Former-Member - the tea tree is one of the most undervalued shrubs. And it is one of my favorites also. Thank you.

[Owlunar]

OMG @utopia

I know where you are - no - I will keep that to myself - I wish I could help but I can't and we all know that

I respect your choices - I hear what you are saying - you are in a terrible place right now and I can hardly believe that they will kick you out at - what - midnight - in inner city Melbourne.

Do you have any money to get home with? - This is so tough

Okay Utupia - there is one thing I can do - I can talk to the Big Guy and light a candle for you and do my best to get you a miracle - I believe in them - I have asked for them before when I have no reason to believe that any thing can happen

God bless you and keep you

Dec

[oceangirl]

Hi @Owlunar

I think utopia means she has leave tomorrow for 4 hours to go out and get what she needs, she has not been given four hours to leave tonight.

[Owlunar]

Oh thanks @oceangirl

Well - I guess my prayer was answered then - because I could see her out in the dark alone and worried so much - I could hardly believe that could happen but then - who knows with the craziness than can happen

I just hope she gets the time she needs - hard to believe that someone has to fight so hard for help after - I really don't know what happened - but work cover - yes - that is a tough deal

Dec

[utopia]

Oh @Owlunar. I'm sorry I didn't explain thst well.@oceangirl73 is right. They are letting me havr some leave time so I can leave the hospital and go for a walk or shopping. Some people use their leave to go for lunch or dinner with friends ot family. But my family is 2 & 1/2 hrs away.
There are 3 private mental health hospitals in or near Melbourne. All of them near major shopping zones. So I think my location is still private.
I had a sleeping tablet over an hr ago but aren't sleepy at all. oh Well. Might just shut my eyes and see what happens.

[Owlunar]

Hi @utopia

No way would I try and find you - but I had this terrible vision of you out in the street at night and that couldn't be right - I did pray a special prayer and my candle will burn out tonight - it was hard to light so I might has well let it continue - it's an aroma therapy candle burning for you and with hope you get the help you need

Close your eyes and see if you can smell vanilla - that's my candle - it's in my bedroom and I can smell it out here in the lounge - it will last a few hours yet - let's hold it in mind that special things can and do happen - and it's your turn about this hospital visit

Dec