hello @Former-Member
of course you can have a whine.
mothers day is so very overrated same as fathers day, christmas, easter all of the money spinners.
you are not alone with your thoughts about not feeling loved enough or good enough in the eyes of your mother. I have read of so many struggles with parents, siblings, relatives on this site.
I also understand your extreme sadness re your daughter. Words cannot change that. You can possibly try to be kind to yourself and say only nice things about your mother daughter relationship because I know there will be so many. Grieve as you need, let go of some more of your pain. Light a candle, wrap yourself in something cuddly, pat an animal if possible.
The very fact that you are writing down your thoughts is therapeutic.
At my psychologist appointment yesterday, she talked to me about writing a letter to my sister, my mother, my ex, all of the people whom I am angry with for the way they have treated me. She told me to express a feeling in each sentence. Not to censor as noone else will read the letters. The letters of course will not be sent, they will be destroyed.
I bought a book this morning. I will start to do this today to help with my visit to my mum tomorrow.
I love my mum and my mum now tells me that she loves me. It has taken so much of my energy to get my family years ago to hug me. It was like hugging cardboard cutouts initially. Then I worked on over the years telling them repeatedly..love you... love you heaps. Now it comes back to me sometimes.
My mum will be 91 soon and I can see, sense her fear. She is very stoic and controlling. I forgive her now even though I still have anger there so will write the letter to further release this anger. Your relationship with your mother is yours and not the same as mine. You do not have to forgive her if you do not want to. That is not what I am suggesting. I am just stating that I have reached this point and am doing this for me.
Please do not feel that you have failed your children in any way. Have you ever written your daughter a letter telling her all of the joy you shared, how much love you hold for her and how you will always be her mum.
Your sons are happy in their lives you say, you have that which is priceless. Most males are not good at expressing their feelings. Some females are not good at it either. My sister and my mum. I am having a very tearful day today. Sister upset with me again, not speaking to me. I am so over picking up the pieces, mending fences in our family. So I am writing her a letter which will have some pretty intense feelings in and will not be posted.
As for mothers day it is sunday, think of it as another sunday.
sending you a big, warm hug; we can hold each other and we might even find it turns into a group hug as we read of others struggling too.
