Life can be a Pain

[Shaz51]

sending you tender hugs for yesterday my friend @Owlunar

[Owlunar]

Hi @Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@outlander@utopia

Thanks so much for your messages - they mean a lot

Yesterday was tough - I am seeing my new therapist this afternoon and I was wondering what on earth to talk about in 50 minutes when I have so much conflict in my family - 

Families can be so complex and toxic - there has to be one person who imagines if they don't control every detail the sun would fail to rise in the east in the morning and right now - I feel like the person in my family would imagine the sun would be likely to fail to find its way to the west - as if - 

Enough - anyway - I rang Life Line and had a good chat - made 5 points I need to talk about and made notes afterwards - too much to talk about in one session - I think I need to find my way through these controlling people to find how my uncle really is and do my level best to see him even if I have to go to where he lives and turn up at the door - ah - not that I am likely to do that.

It was weeks ago that I was so upset about my family and the trouble that always seems to be happening - decades of it -  really - it was happening before I was born - it just seems to find its way into all the strange little nooks and crannies common to many families I guess

So today I need to elaborate my points and even print it out - have it in my hand when I speak to the therapist - know what I am talking about

But I am sure the written word never really carried the point across - it's more than that - it's how we say it and when and if we get teary or not

But I really believe that no one gets to deserve the issues some family members dish out for whatever reason - we are all worth more than that - and yeah - it's tough yards and I know people here understand that

I had a dream last night - one I can't remember - but I woke with the feeling that the dream was something about the tough stuff in life and that it hasn't beaten me yet - but then - awake this morning - that really toxic person in my family - she is just as toxic - aw - enough again

Thanks again my dear friends

Dec

[utopia]

That's a great idea @Owlunar to write out what you want to discuss with your therapist. That way you don't forget anything. Also good idea to use when you go to the gp - I always forget to say something.
I hope your appointment today goes well. Take a deep breath. ♥

[Faith-and-Hope]

💐💜💕 @Owlunar ......

[Owlunar]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope@utopia@Shaz51@outlander@Former-Member

I've had a busy week - 3 appointments apart from the usual and they all went well

I saw a different pain specialist - same clinic - and I am glad that with all my other concerns atm I let this one come to pass - the new doctor is a young man and really great and his comment is

"If someone is stable why change anything?" and this is a huge relief

So I saw my new therapist and I have talked to my daughter and I am planning to go interstate late February or early March - remarkable indeed that neither of us have gone away for months and then we both want to go away at the same time - my only concern is my elderly cat - she does need to be looked at and given fresh food and water every day - but I have yet to have a response from my aging relatives - I guess they are thinking it over - if I get a positive reply I might go in early February

It's seven years since Dad died tomorrow - strange how easy it was to get over Dad dying than it was to get over my mother - probably because Dad and I were very close and very much alike - I never feel I have to go far to be near my Dad - 

This last week I have gone down to the beach twice - I thought I might go today but it is raining heavily here - not the best day to go but having gone twice I am likely to go again

I wish everyone the best and hope things are going as well as possible

Dec

[utopia]

So glad the new pain specialist was sensible @Owlunar. Yes if all is going well, why change things?
Pleased to hear you are continuing your walks to the beach. I'm assuming your knee has improved a lot.
I haven't done anything today. Just woke up from a nap. Such very vivid dreams I've been having the past few weeks. They leave me quite emotional. Probably the only time I 'feel' emotions is from my dreams. Strange.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hopefully that is a healing process @utopia.  

I know my mind problem solves in my sleep.  I can wake up at three in the morning with the realisation that I have thought through an issue and decided on my response or course of action.

As I am waking up, I realise that it’s the end of a whole process of nutting it out that was occurring while I was asleep ..... like remembering the end of a dream as you wake up, but you know there was much more to it than that, that you can’t recall even though it had been vivid a few minutes before.

[utopia]

@Faith-and-Hope. My psychologist says my amount of dreaming is normal for people in depression. Especially when I'm not thinking about things during the day and because I'm not keeping my mind active during the day - my subconscious mind works overtime at night.
But they are so very very vivid.

[Faith-and-Hope]

I think for me this happens when I am running hard to get through chaotic days and there isn’t enough time to think things through, so my mind processes during sleep hours, waking me.  It doesn’t happen all the time though, just when things have been super busy, or perhaps when I am really angry and distressed about a piece of our puzzle.

I can see that my D3 is sinking again at the moment.  I think she is not sleeping well.

It makes me angry that the mh team around our son has reframed all our problems as stemming from marriage disfunction, dismissing the idea that mr. f&h underwent a mid-life crisis that derailed all of us, the marriage included.  D3 is reactive within her own relationship with her dad ..... wonder when they are going to work that out .....

Wonder when and how the e.d. is going to be discovered and diagnosed.  She is angry about that too.

Waiting ..... waiting ... 

I am sorry your dreams are so vivid and plaguing your sleep hours.  Does it help to rest during the day ?

[Adge]

Hi everyone,

I've been writing out what I want to discuss with my psychologist (before our appointment) for years.

That's because otherwise, I go blank in the appointment - & say little or nothing.

Then I would kick myself (later) with frustration, for not having remembered what I wanted to say.

I also have to write a list, before I go to the Dr - otherwise I don't remember any of the symptoms (to tell).

I first started doing that over 20 years ago, when I first saw a psychologist...

My psychologist often has a little chuckle, when she says "What's next on your list"? "Have you forgotten anything on your list"?, etc

Adge