Life can be a Pain

[Shaz51]

@Owlunar

[Faith-and-Hope]

Something else to factor in @Former-Member is whether the retirement place offers some communal facilities as a part of your rent package that support the lifestyle you want .... I am a bit reluctant to make too many suggestions, because I don't know what they may or may not have on offer, but here goes ....

Do they have a dining hall or cafe of some description, and how do the prices compare with others out in the community.  You might have a cozy nook there to socialise in at a low cost .... hopefully.

Do they have facilities like shops, banks and post office close by which will save on van running costs if you can walk there ?

Do they have a gym where you can go for "free" as a community member ?

Do they have in-house movies in a community hall, or casual sporting activities like lawn bowls, tennis with courts no-charge to community members, Bingo or other social clubs - chess, bookclub, sewing circle, etc ?

Do they have a library / book exchange area ?

Generally when you join any sort of community living facility you are investing in a lifestyle, in which case it may be affordable for you to be spending half your pension on it, if there is not a lot else that you would otherwise need to spend on.

[Owlunar]

Thanks for adding all of this @Faith-and-Hope- I had not thought about those things - I have never considered the possibilities of a Retirement Village and all of the things you raised are something important and if not provided they will cost money

One thing that bothers me when seeing advertisements of aged care is how happy everyone looks in the pictures - I spent a few days in respite some years back and I saw people there and I know this wasn't a retirement village but there were people living there permantenty and it has bothered me for years - the people there did not look happy at all and the place was emotionally cold

I was given a week or perhaps a few days more by a public hospital but I left a few days later - I do have something to suggest to anyone - included @Former-Member right now

Go in an have a look around and see the people there now - do they look happy and relaxed - do they interact - does it seem to be a welcoming and caring place?

It must be a hard decision Lapses - and I know you don't like making decisions

Dec

[Owlunar]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope@Shaz51@outlander@Former-Member@utopia

I just got a text from my daughter - she has just seen her surgeon and he is referring her to another surgeon for a hysterectomy

Aw - this stings - this has been going on for so long - and I am glad she is seeing a different surgeon because I don't have much faith in the one she has been seeing

Goll-ee - she has a life - she has a good job and really works hard at working at good health - which will serve her well with a big operation - 

How I wish she wasn't going through all of this - I guess she won't be having the huge operation I had in 1986 - they do things differently now but all this waiting must be exhausting for her

Dec

[outlander]

aww thats so tough @Owlunar i hope it all goes well for her
hugs for you too

[Former-Member]

:(. fell asleep while typing - lost post
but thanks @Faith-and- hop @Owlunar &
Thanks every one

[Former-Member]

Thanks F&H & Dec, I’ve always longed for a ‘community’ lifestyle living. Get so lonely. Yes it would likely be worth the extra monies. A walk to shops is hard to find.
Sorry about your girl @Owlunar, but most ppl I talk to after hysterectomy are so relieved to be rid of the problems that bought it on. And they’re so much better at it these days. She won’t be able to drive for x6 weeks though and be less support for you if needed though. It’s hard when we only have one. Feel for those with no children as they age. But living absences would be harder again (like poor Appleblossom & her girl)

[utopia]

I think it will be worth it when it's done  @Owlunar

[Owlunar]

Thanks @utopia@Former-Member@outlander@Faith-and-Hope

I do know my daughter will feel a lot better after she has recovered from her surgery - I was but it took a lot of recovery - I was seriously underweight from stress and anxiety at them time and then surgeons had more leeway on how long they could keep us in hospital and so my surgeon kept me there for two weeks - almost total bed-rest - to get my weight up and he had the nurses bring in wonderful club-sandwiches late in the evenings and they sat there with me while I ate 

I didn't have an eating disorder - it was only a short time before my son died and I was really worn down

And so my daughter will not be having the open surgery I did - I will need to speak to her to find out rather than communicate so much by text - mmmm - yes - I wonder where she gets the idea of holding things close to herself from - not that I have to look far for the answer

Lapses - my daughter and I live independent lives - she is busy with her full-time job and she is in a band and has to practise with the others and by herself - she has my grand-daughter and her step-children and their families as welll as her husband to think about and she looks after my cat and does my garden when I am away -   I am more concerned about her having an operation than anything else - really concerned about that - she has had two operations this year already and has been really ill

I hear that you are lonely and obviously there will be other people around if you live in a Retirement Village - I get that - but I think you need to check on the details about what social events are available before you sign in anywhere - when I look at your decisions or thoughts about life-style with that in mind I understand but it's a good idea to check around first - I hope you find somewhere really lovely

Thanks for your support peeps - I had a tough week in patches but I have survived it and I got a text from Telstra that my wifi moden (NBN) is on its way and I just hope it is not to complicated to connect it - like I can just plug in a couple of leads and the job is done.

Dec

[Former-Member]