Life can be a Pain

[Faith-and-Hope]

Others are here so much for me @Owlunar ....., I appreciate all of you ..... so much ❣️

[Owlunar]

@Faith-and-Hope

💖

[Appleblossom]

Hearing the survivor you, funny you, and the weary you. @Owlunar Getting old aint for sissies. 

New pics not up yet, but last pics were fun. 

I had a lot of grinding when married and my dentist referred me to a specialist who organised a special rubber mouthpiece to be worn at night which kept the teeth apart. I wore it for over a year. I think it helped.

I was triggered last night into a trauma response. I can move from a 1 -100 in minutes when triggered.  At least now I am clearer about the difference of being in trauma and being out of it. 

Hi @utopia @Former-Member @Shaz51 

Good Afternoon

This is not a owl but its a bird returning to the nest.

[utopia]

@Owlunar. So pleased you opened up and told a 'hidden' story to your psychologist. Painful. But it's out now.
You are dealing with a lot of things all at once. Family, mmemories and physical pain. That would be enough to floor most people.
So take your time. Rest. Use the heat pack. Give yourself a treat & know that you are being heard here. Hugs

[Owlunar]

You are so right about getting older @Appleblossom

Now when people tell me age is just a number I tell them to wait until they get here - oh yes!! - my mind is fine but my body - ouch x 100 - enough said

Your pic isn't up yet but it will - I am enjoying finding the most fitting stuff in clipart - it helps me - hope it helps others - I like the pics other people post

I have always been into tooth-grinding - it feels like a hobby - I don't think I can stop because like other people I do it when I am asleep - and I also think it's taken time and a little adjustment but my dentures being worn at night is making a huge difference - this wisdom tooth is not aching now but still sore under my jaw

Actually - years and years ago - I was married and had both kids pretty young - I had a plastic brace and I chewed my way clear through it in a few weeks - maybe a rubber one would be better but let's see - I think it took weeks of grinding to make it so darn sore it will take time for it to get better and maybe sorting through my family issues will cause extra grinding at times and maybe the good part will be that sorting out the family issues from my point of view will allow the grinding to stop.

And if I need a brace I am sure my dentist will sort that out - I am really lucky to have such a user-friendly dentist and last week I really understood that being a dentist is a lot more that just filling and pulling teeth - mmm - yes

Whoops - I am sorry about that trauma response - I guess we can't tell what will trigger us untill it arrives and what you said about the difference between in trauma and out of it - that makes sense too me. After saying what I said to my therapist I know I am out of it - it is in the past - but still - why on earth am I still so uncomfortable with it? I can't change anything and it is all over and done and ancient

The truth is that however time colours it - the past is still read - I don't think it can hurt me now but there is stuff I still carry around and it's a bother - and like old photos - not something I want to lose either

So it's important - maybe I just need to adjust my fine-tuning

I really hope you are okay today

Dec - survivor, funny and darned tired

[Appleblossom]

Oooooh Love that pic @Owlunar very meee.

I am sure you are in good hands re dentist.  I have stayed away from them for a while ... did not feel up to the fees ... but time is coming around that it is needed.

@utopia

[Owlunar]

Hi @utopia

Yes- I feel if I have enough stuff to keep me going until it's spring again - actually we do not have long winters here - just very cold ones

I read the list you wrote of my achievements - yes - I have done all of those things and more and built my self-esteem before I knew I needed it - that was a surprise when I worked that out

And yes I told my therapist my hidden story - I realised how hidden it was - though I always knew it was there - I have had a bad start with pain today but I think I am getting out of the shadows - since I have been sorting stuff out I have felt like a spiky bush that badly needs pruning and as much as I hate  the extreme back pain coming back it has a settling effect - like - this is "normal" for me - 

And this probably doesn't make sense

The forum has helped me through two winters and this is the third - often I feel that my stuff is not as bad as so many other people have here - but then - I don't think we can measure things into degrees - good, bad, better, worse, whatever. I am not always anxious to share but it helps when I do.

It really does

It's Thursday afternoon and so far I have been taking things easy - Fridays are busy so yes - I need to make the most of today - and give myself a treat - I am being heard here and understood as well

My therapist has told me that it comes through to her clearly that through a lot of my life I have felt ignored - and this is true - but I am not ignored here - ever - which is pretty special

Thanks Utopia

Dec

[Owlunar]

Hi @Appleblossom

Dentists - yes - they cost a lot - I have been very lucky with mine - I was his first patient back 30 odd years ago - and at one stage I owed him a lot of money but I kept paying off a little every month and then finally I was able to pay him off in full - and that was a good thing - a very fortunate thing

So he has known about my life - and maybe we wouldn't think or wouldn't have time - to tell our dentist about our life but wow - last week when I was just about ready to break into his clinic with my finger-nails before opening time - but when he was thorough  - the tooth was fine - no abscess - only a bit chipped out in a bad place for a champion-tooth-grinder - and when he had fixed the chip and drilled a bit of the opposite tooth he asked me what was happening in my life - 

I guess you do need to see a dentist - cost or not - but I certainly wish you out of the hands of a public dentist - I have memories I do not need to share - but it depends on the dentist,

It's not just the cost of dental treatment in this wonderful counrtry of free medical care if we can wait long enough - the medicare plan for Mental Health has to be a joke - I have been told that it was cut back a few years ago because it was being used too much - too much!!!!!!!!!!!???????????? - 

I was told about this Mental Health Plan by Life Line several times back when I was battling financially and emotionally and I could not pay the difference let alone have regular help - now I can but 10 visits a year also makes me wonder about the sense seeing as nothing has been increased for a long time

Okay - I have a new cause to take up - maybe not today - let me recover from the recent past - but everyone here is likely to need this kind of issue and I know there are different places people can go to but still - 

I need a soap box 

And there is a cause - when I am feeling better I have something to start - but I need to feel better first

Also - things being too hard has not stopped me - even a little change can make a difference

Dec

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

There will be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth in Hell for those who do not repent - and I do believe that those who do not mend their ways may find a lot of reason for all of those things - I don't believe in Hell - but I do believe that at some stage in some life people who do cruel things have to face themselves and there maybe things I have yet to face too - but we can always repent and show remorse and do the best we can 

But only the best we can - there are some people who can't be helped regardless of our intentions - but that's up to them -  not us - 

All of these things are in God's hands and this is a good thing - I am not quallified - like everyone else I can only do my best with what's within my power and I hope this explains that bit of scripture

Let's see what I can do about giving you a piece of pie

Oh golly yes - the well is always full - here you are

Here you are - whatever you want - it's free and how do you get it from here to there? How do you learn to not give up? Welllllllll - you are still here so I guess you have some - it's just an idea but how would you give up? What would you do? Go to bed for the rest of the day? Yes - I've done that one - taken a day off, refused to answer my phone - even the door - look at my mail - yes - all of those things are part of giving up but the good thing about them is they can only help in the on-going battle of sticktoitivity

Culling relatives - I don't know if I am culling anyone because the people I am not getting in touch with are not in touch with me - there is one family member - in the past I have rung them and then they answer the phone and start talking "yaddayaddayaddayaddayaddayadda - on-and-on then I am busy today bye"

It goes without saying I am not ringing that one

Yes - I took it easy about the screens yesterday and I just had a long shower - I stood there and let it run over my head and all down my back for ages - and now it's time to dry my hair - I had a great shower set up in Hobart and I stood and let their water run all over me for ages too

Good idea that one - just standing in the shower helps - I think it has something to do with the nature of water and I love the feeling

I know you understand - I am glad you are there - I have been here for a while and it's time to take a break but I will catch up with you

Dec