Lived Experience Forum

[Angels333]

As many of you knoe I have SH issues and I've been hiding it for quite some time. My husband felt the scars this morning so now he knows. He doesn't know the full extent though.

His initial reaction was amazing and so caring. But I feel incredibly anxious.

He was bery good to me about it but now I'm exposed and feeling very vulnerable. Roght when it was getting a little better....


Oh I think getting to Thursday to see my psychiatrist will be a very very long wait 😞

[Drac0]

I hope you can turn around your feelings on this @Angels333. It was something you were never going to be able to hide forever. It's out now & that can't be changed.

From the sounds of it his reaction has truly surprised you. He must be a good man. Try not to let your anxiety push away someone who cares for you & sounds willing to be there & support you through this.

Now that he knows and it hasn't turned him away it can help you find some comfort in those darker times. When the SH thoughts start growing maybe you will be able to get yourself to reach out to him, stopping them getting to completion.

It is still going to be hard after hiding it from him for so long. Yes, you feel exposed, it's something you have worked hard to keep from everyone. But it is also an opportunity for you to start breaking the cycle. Take it slowly, but don't forget that when you need it you now have someone close that you can turn to. Many of us don't have that, it is something special. Talk to him about it if you can, lean on him you need.

Try not to see this as a setback but a step forward in your recovery. Your circle of support has grown, you have someone who cares for you in there now. This is a good thing, no matter how you're feeling right now. Take the time, adjust & accept it.

And as always there are those here always willing to help & support you too.

Take care, stay safe.

[Angels333]

Thank you @Drac0 you are right having him is something not may others have.

I will try and use him to keep myself well.

At the moment I think we are both still in shock.

I know things can get better.

[BlueBay]

Hi @Angels333

I'm glad your husband knows about your SH.  I can imagine the anxiety you must have had.

It is good that you can now include him in your safety plan.  Let him know when you are feeling vulnerable or not good.  He is there for you, which is fantastic.  He sounds like a great suportive husband. 

I think it is not a setback for you, in fact I think it is a forward move in the right direction.  He will be there for you.  

Take care and good luck with your session with your psych.

[Angels333]

Thanks for connecting with me guys. I really don't want to trigger others. I know it's better that he knows I still feel unwell though and I want to make 3 days. I can take extra anti psychotics but not too much as I need to be careful with the prolonged QTc interval that my heart can't cope with the dose. That's why I had to half the dose and go through withdrawal a few weeks ago. It's a rare sode effect and I have it. I know I can beat this and I connect with this group one as someone who is a long long way from sh and ready to help others!

[BlueBay]

Take care @Angels333

Hope you can get through this week.  Thinking of you 🙂

[Angels333]

Hi everyone, I've made 4 days the voices are definitely bothering me but I haven't SH since Wednesday knowing that I have amazing support helos but it is getting difficult today

[BlueBay]

Hi @Angels333

That is so good 4 days and no SH.  Well done. 🙂

[Angels333]

Thanks @BlueBay I think if I have come this far I can connect to lifeline etc instead of SH.

I really want to get better it's been 12months without a break.

[BlueBay]

Yes definitely connect with Lifeline @Angels333 if you need to.  I have many times and each time they have been fantastic.

I can tell that you really want to get better and you have so much strength.  Keep going @Angels333 🙂