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[Owlunar]

One thing I have learned it that we are allowed to contradict our therapist - and sometimes we are right

We certainly go to them for advice and imagine it's a good idea to accept it - we look for for professional perspective - and rightly so - but that might not be right either

Only thinking about it will tell us

I did sort this out with Therapist 3 - she told me that she had no idea what ever she said would affect me or anyone else - and feedback from her clients could be helpful

So I have been thinking that having an opinion of my own that can be challenged but tends to stand firm within me has really worked - 

But I really hear what you are saying @utopia

But is s/he right? Only you can answer that. 

I understand though - I don't like the getting-older dxs fun either - trouble is - I don't think time is on my side - different issues - similar feelings

It's painful

[frog]

@utopia yes the sensitivity is both a curse and a blessing. My son and I are both highly sensitive people (HSPs). I say to him that it can be a hard load to carry, but it's also what makes you so lovely and caring to be around. There have been times when it's less onerous, possibly since I got the big bad bipolar diagnosis. It was a severe reality check and prompt to put myself first, or at least not always last  Prior to that it was as if there was no room in my life for me. I think it is possible to moderate sensitivity. Take care.

[utopia]

Thank you @frog for sharing your perspective as someone who is HSP.

@Owlunar yes I guess the feelings would be the same. One of fear and not knowing if things will get worse.

@Faith-and-Hope I dislike the stigma attached to psychosomatic - as so many doctors tend to brush a lot of womens worries away by using that. And even if it is true, then treating everything they say as being 'over emotional or irrational'. Like your specialist just added 2 and 2 and came up with 23. He didn't listen to you and it took you 4 months to convince him. And all that time, he thought YOU were the problem or the one with the problem, instead of your husband.

Doctors then thinking or knowing I am hypersensitive could also then just shut me down and again label me as 'over emotional and / or irrational.'  None of these 'labels' is positive from the general publics perspective and doctors that aren't knowledgeable on MI's or personality types.

I see my psychiatrist in 11 days. So I'll ask him about this. But I bet he will say, that's an issue to work out with your psychologist. Psychiatrist passes all things 'talk therapy' over to the psychologist.

And I wonder if it is found that this IS part of my nature/personality, how it will affect my case. Could my ex workplace say, because I am super sensitive, that they can't cover for that personality type and therefore, their duty of care (or lack of) was adequate for a 'normal' person.

I think i'm just shocked by all this today. I know I'm anxious and stressed. I can certainly feel it today. Think I need a good long sleep. Might take a prn to help me calm down for tonight, and then tomorrow do some breathing and meditation.

I just don't want to be any sicker than I have been.

[Faith-and-Hope]

I understand all of that @utopia ...... 

It only took the first week before my psych realised what I was up against, but first I didn’t go back for four weeks because I had to prop things up at home ..... and within that time he didn’t think I would come back, so that was the first part of showing him the strength of who I was.

There is an integrity in who you are @utopia, and your psych will help you find it, but I would certainly express that fear to him that if this were presented like a “co-diagnosis” it is likely to hurt your case and  support for recovery.  He has a duty of care there.  You were perfectly capable, with all your former sensitivities, of doing your job.  What changed was the trauma, and that, you were not responsible for ..... and that makes your former employers responsible for it.

Gp’s will be progressively educated in psychosomatic illness, similarly to how there is growing an increasing awareness of personality disorders and the support needed to manage, and the diversity which has developed around eating disorders as a coping mechanism, amongst many other mi presentations.  The concept of mental health is changing.

I hope you get some solid sleep @utopia.  Things will sort out progressively, I am sure.  The unknown tends to frighten us, but it gradually becomes known ..... and then familiar.  Try not to fear the worst.

Hugs .... ❤️

[utopia]

@Faith-and-Hope

[utopia]

Took my calming tablet at about 10.30 ish. Still awake. Thoughts still racing. But no chest pain.

Think I might just take another one (they are low dose) and see if that helps quieten my head and helps me sleep.

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ @utopia .....

I am just heading to bed.

Goodnight Hon. Hope you can settle now.

[Mazarita]

Hi @utopia, I'm here for a while if you feel like chatting. ox

[utopia]

I still can't sleep @Mazarita. Would love to turn my thoughts off as easily as turning off a light.
How are you? Have things been going well?

[Mazarita]

Glad to see you tonight, @utopia. I read back a little in the thread about HSP. I relate to it but never thought it was a diagnosis. I understand the distress of feeling resistant to further diagnoses. As much as I love my psychologist, she does have a way of dropping in personality disorders into the discussion, which makes me uncomfortable as I do not want that diagnosis, even if there are some grounds for it. Having bipolar 1 is enough for me!

The way I'm travelling at the moment is through a major meds change that is happening only gradually. It's got me rapid cycling, especially with sleep patterns. I have had 5 hours sleep since early last night. But before that I was awake for 36 hours straight. I'm okay though.

How are you feeling at this time of the evening?