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[Owlunar]

Hi @utopia

Sometimes I feel as if I am making my way through the maze and pulling the threads and the truth is in there somewhere - I just keep pulling the threads

Ah - I did study philosophy at university - it was the hardest but most important part of my course so

Your psychologist told you that major depression would always be part of your life and deep down you have known this but not wanted to accept it but you have to accept it if you want to move post this pain and learn how to manage it

It sucks because I sort of thought that what the psychologist said might be wrong but if you have known this then darn - there is work to be done and who wants to work like this - knowing one thing and wanting it to be otherwise - that's a hardie - is it ever

How does one heal the deep wounds inside? They have to be worse than the ones on the outside. You used to work and so much was taken away - it's hard to imagine what that does to someone though it happened to me too. It was different

Dec

[utopia]

@Owlunar. I miss my old job. I miss the clients. I miss feeling useful. But the thought of working now - not possible. More time needed.
I see my psychiatrist not tomorrow but the following Monday. So I'll tell him what my psychologist said. But I think he'll agree.
My psychologist is sending him a letter - feedback on my therapy. He doesn't feel my meds are working. And to be honest, I just can't tell. I can't tell up from down at the moment.
I was hoping my memory and cognitive ability would have improved some by now. But feel I'm getting worse in that area.
Trying not to get sucked back into my negative / depression vortex.
Just telling myself I just need a few days rest and then I can get back into fighting this disease.

[soul]

Hi @utopia - just checking in to see how you are. Hope you have a good week. Take care of yourself. 

[utopia]

Thank you @soul. Should be a good week. Going to tackle a few house hold chores I've neglected. Cleaner house hopefully equals a better mood.
Hope you have some enjoyable plans set for this week.

[Maggie]

@utopia I'm just dropping in to wish you a good week. I've only read bits as my concentration is low. I have read many of your responses on other threads and your understanding and care for others is inspiring.

[utopia]

Thank you @Maggie.

[Owlunar]

That sounds like a plan @utopia

Take your time and do things bit by bit and you are right - cleaning the house does improve the situation

I miss going to work too - it's more than just the job and the money  - there is satisfaction and the social side is important too - hopefully you will get back to it - I wish you the best

Dec

[utopia]

Thanks @Owlunar. I finally had a much needed shower. Feel heaps better. Did a load of washing. Folding washing etc. Cleaned dog bowls. Did grocery shopping. Fridge doesn't look so empty now. Lol.
I hope your day is going well today. Surprisingly it's a sunny 17° / 18° today. Amazing after our cold days recently. So nice to feel the sun nice and warm on my face.

[BlueBay]

Hey @utopia
You did heaps today. Well done. I've come home from work and put a load of washing on. I'll leave them inside to try as it's cold outside niw.
Don't know what to cook for dinner. Msybe an easy pasta dish.
What are you having fir dinner?

[utopia]

Probably just make a sandwich for dinner @BlueBay. My boy is working tonight and he eats what they haven't sold at the end of the day. Lol.