Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Have you ever wondered what exactly is your emotional pain? We know we're hurting, but can we describe it? My psychologist asks me to describe it.  What does it feel like? she adks,  Where do you feel it in your being? ... ... It stumps me every time and leaves me thinking maybe it is irrelevant - because i cant put it in words or measure it.

I think maybe its that emotional disconnect we have, from trauma (PTSD), that makes it harder.

Anyway, i have started a journey to try get my head around this monster behind my MI. One of my labels is BPD which is listed as the most painful state (this may interest many of us here on the forums), along with losing a child... hmm... ... I've had both so i'm starting to think perhaps its not all 'in my head' so to speak, or just 'attention seeking - as some have judged - rather, I must be some kinda 'superhuman' to still be alive - how's that for a positive twist lol

Does anyone else lack of understanding of emotional pain? I'd like to hear your thoughts.  It could be validating / healing. The forums seem a good place to exchange experience and knowledge about it. Nobody in my real world is connecting.

This is a bit about emotional / psychological pain I found on wikipedia (go directly to the link if you prefer).

EMOTIONAL / PSYCHOLOGICAL PAIN (algopsychalia and psychalgia), also referred to as mental pain, emotional pain, psychic pain, social pain, spiritual pain, soul pain, or suffering.
Psychological pain is about non physical pain (physical pain caused by psychological factors is *psychogenic pain). Psychological pain or mental pain is an unpleasant feeling (a suffering) of a psychological, non-physical, origin. A pioneer in the field of suicidology, Edwin S. Shneidman, described it as "how much you hurt as a human being. It is mental suffering; mental torment." Widely recognised profoundly unpleasant feeling. Psychological pain is believed to be an inescapable aspect of human existence...
To read the fill article, go to wikipedia:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_pain

[Former-Member]

Thanks Briar, I'd love to hear how others describe 'emotional pain' too. Thanks for joining in. Think I read elsewhere you have dissociative struggles too. I think its hard for us with that disconnect.

etraining my brain to reconnect and acknowledged feelings is an ongoing process. The Mindfulness Body Scan swemscto work the best for me. I sometimes avoid it because I fear the feeling more, the pain, butaybe I'll get my discs out again.

Guess is possible that SH is a backtofronr way pf trying to find our feelings, our lost parts. So desperate is our pain. I hear you Briar 💜

Wonder if one of the @Former-Member s would give us a hand here. Better still, I reckon its a great topic for a Tuesday Topic Discussion.

Did you read the wiki article Briar? I thought it was interesting.

Ooo, someone's at the door, bye. 🌷🌿

[Fancy_Pants]

Hi @Former-Member

I am so sorry this seems to have been missed.@NikNik what do you think about "how do you describe (share/put into words for others to understand??) emotional pain" as a topic tuesday discussion as per @Former-Member below?

[outlander]

@Former-Member very good thread

i kinda get it but like you i dont know how to explian it nor do i know how to dealt with it either

[FlowingRiver]

My counsellor has done that mindfulness body scan and suggested I can just look for where I am feeling my emotional pain and I love it, though rarely remember to do it. However when I have remembered, it has really helped to lessen my anxiety.

I am not very good at identifying my emotions with words. As a kid I just learnt to hide anything that might be even the slightest bit threatening or painful to myself or others, especially my mum. 😞

[-Rayne-]

Sorry. I have an alter who doesn't think speaking is safe (hence the deleted post above). I basically just said that I don't feel emotional pain and for some reason my therapist thinks this is a problem. 

Still a good thread @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Hello @-Rayne-, good to see you, love your avatar! Forgive me plz for not posting as often as I should. Keep getting distracted (switching), I on w you know what I mean.

I have had a lot of trouble identifying emotional pain I have. Get distressed and paralysed and sometimes cry, but mostly numb. Can't identify or describevit. Yes, therapists think its healthier to be in touch with emotional pain because that somehow also mysteriously allows is to feel joy too. All another language for us with this 'disconnect' thing happening.

How are you tonight?

[NatalieS]

Hi there, it's been a while since I've contributed, but this topic touched a chord with me. For almost 18 months I've struggled with dealing with emotional pain , when a number of events triggered memories of multi-childhood trauma and pschological domestic violence. I don't have a definition of what emotional pain is: I can only describe some of the feelings for me. There are times when I feel like I'm inside a giant bubble and the whole world is happening outside the bubble. I feel like I don't belong or don''t fit in with family or other people. I feel so alone and helpless on this journey I am taking. Because I have been seeing a therapist since February-and some of the issues I have been working through are deeply emotional-it takes me days afterwards to process some of this stuff, and I feel so much hurt and sadness as though I'm going to shatter into thousands of pieces, there is also despair and there are times when I think I will never be happy again, or that things will never get better. I know the pain isn't physical but it still aches and hurts so much and sometimes I think I will never stop crying.

[Keppet]

Hi @Former-Member, gee, never actualy asked that question of myself, but wow, it is such an important aspect to where we're at.

I'm not sure if this fits your question, but I guess there's many words that we try to express it with, like angst, or a broken heart.  For me it's a heavy pressing feeling, like being in a vacuum, not that I've ever been in one. It blocks or inhibits those feelings of joy one would expect when something good happens and instead there's a heaviness, an oppression, like a cold winter's day.   You know in yourself that you're not feeling what is "normal" but its like you're looking at in an out-of-body experience, you can't will yourself to where you think you should be.  Sometimes its like being in quicksand, trying to get to that sunny dry spot and feeling alive once more.

Is that what you mean @Former-Member or have I just gone off topic?