Am Not Coping

[Former-Member]

Hugs @Former-Member I'm so sorry that this morning is hard. I find that i can tend to ruminate if i have time on my hands as well. Its so hard! I have seen how strong you've been in coping with so much though and you are not worthless, i hope that the day gets better,

lj

[Faith-and-Hope]

Good morning everyone ..... 😊💕

Hi @Zoe7 ...... 🤗💐💜💕

Hi @Former-Member ....🌷💕

We're a couple of ours behind the ES (Eastern States) over here.  I woke up with the rain at 1:30am and dozed back off about 3am .... I think I had fallen asleep fairly early in the evening, andcaught another three hours of sleep just now, but sometimes I am awake like that in the middle of the night.

When that happens and my mind is starting to focus on the negativity in my situation, I go to the kitchen and quietly make a hot drink to take back to bed with me.  

Last night I was hungry, but I put an apple on my bedside table now, because it's often when I am drifting off to sleep that I start to feel hungry and that can keep me awake.

If you are not working, then it becomes imperative to keep what I call "scaffolding" in your day.  This is the framework of "having a day" that helps to provide the grounding that you need, so you don't feel like you're just drifting aimlessly around in the day.

This will be easier written down:

Wake up - (create an hour's time span ... say .... 7 to 8:00am)

Breakfast - 8 to 9:00am

Lunch - 12 to 1:00pm

Afternoon Snack - 3 to 4:00pm

Dinner - 6 to 7:00pm

Bedtime - 10 to 11:00pm

Now into that framework you need to add a shower, and when to take any meds, along with anything else that happens on a daily or weekly basis.  You can make them personal to that day or week and add in dr appointments and any social things you have on.

Then, think about creating social events (if you're up to it) like catching up with someone for coffee or a movie.

Can you add in a daily or twice weekly walk next .... that sort of thing ?

Can you schedule in activities that you might want to try .... or things you might already do like adult colouring in ?

This framework gives you a map to get through your day.  If sometimes you come down to an hour by hour struggle, then write down grounding exercises, like finding things in the room that start with the letters of the alphabet, or find the colours of the rainbow.

Write down tv programs to watch, or listening to music for that hour.

You can do this @Former-Member .... help to pick yourself up .... not matter what your success rate is to begin with, it will build like exercise builds your fitness ....

💐🤗

[Former-Member]

Thank you so much @Faith-and-Hope

I remember learning this in hospital, but I never needed it before. My days are pretty aimless at the moment. I might have an appointment, but the rest of the day I just "see how I feel" which is probably not the best way to deal with it all. The only thing I have scheduled is my meds.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Use your meds schedule as your basis for today then @Former-Member .... and add meals and / or snacks in to that, and maybe an activity like colouring in.  If you don't particularly feel like doing it (using colouring in as an example) then lay out all the materials as attractively on the table as you can and see if you can entice yourself into it .... with a cuppa while you do, or when you have finished so you get that warm comfortable feeling from the tea associated with the activity too.

🌷💕

[Zoe7]

Hiya  everyone @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member @Shaz51

I finally had a few hours sleep  Not really enough but it is a start!

Yesterday I was seriously concerned I would not be able to go on my short holiday and that was adding to my already low mood. I am still worried about going but I it has been the only thing I have looking forward to for a very long time - I need to do this!!!

@Former-Member I am sorry you are finding it tough also - I am thinking of you 

@Former-Member let me know if you have a 'window' today to 'chat'!! Thanks...Zoe 

[utopia]

@Faith-and-Hope. I'd never heard of this before. Or maybe it's that I've never seen it written down before. Such a simple way.
You've inspired me to clean off my dining room table and then get some pens and paper and draw up a timetable like that.
I think it will help me enormously. I hope it helps you too @Former-Member. It can be hard when we had a job we loved and then are unemployed. It can be a big part of our identity and how we define ourselves.
That's why it's necessary to find new or old activities that we can try. And be proud of each little achievement that do. Setting up this timetable - will be a great achievement. Celebrate even the smallest of successes & soon enough, big successes will come our way.
I hope your day gets better. And thank you for posting today - as both you and faith-and-hope have inspired me on a flat day.
All the very best. ♥♥

[Former-Member]

Hello @utopia @Faith-and-Hope

I agree this is a great concept so simplistic yet so easily overlooked.

I found that I used to have to be so structured with my job all of the time that when I stopped work due to PTSD, depression, structure was deleted off of any agenda.

i now see that isolating myself also fed this theory.

Hence I am sitting at the keyboard (interestingly enough, in the office at home where I used to work!!) and I should be looking at a timetable and going for a walk.

So on that note I am mentally imagining a timetable and heading off for a walk in a few minutes. Bathroom stop first.

Thank  you for sharing xx

[Former-Member]

For you @Zoe7

and for your amusement 

Thinking of you and hoping today is better. 💜🤗💐

[Faith-and-Hope]

Yay @Zoe7 ..... you caught the Snooze Train I sent past your window ..... ❣️

Have to work at keeping you on it longer ..... I wouldn't mind being snuggled in amongst warm purry kittens ......

So happy to hear that your trip is still on the cards, and I am looking forward to news of your adventure.

Yay @utopia ..... 😁

Maybe it is that I had five kids under ten yo including twins that I developed household systems ..... or maybe it's just how my brain functions and it naturally extended into my home ..... but I looked at running a house in the same sense as running a business.

I consider laundry like the daily mail .... needs a collection point, a time of day to be "in" ..... operate the washing machine according to a rough timetable across the day (lots of kids meant looootttttsssss of washing) and I covered my clothesline so the laundry "mail" wasn't held up by bad weather. I put a sorting table into the middle of my laundry room (doesn't have to be very big - started with a card table on a back verandah at a previous house, and folded washing in from the line onto the table ..... starting with big non-iron stuff, then underwear, then socks (which I pegged out in pairs when I hung the washing, then ironed what needed ironing straight from the line onto hangers. I put the ironing away as soon as I could, but I landed the kids folded clothes next to their bedroom door at night while they were asleep and put it into their drawers as I woke them up for breakfast in the morning.

Systems.

Their toys were in lock-top boxes and they had to play with them on a small quilt on the floor ..... very easy afterwards to pick up the corners of the quilt between them and me and tip everything back into the box. One box had to be put away before another could be taken out .... like a toy library .....

If you have been corporate business people, then you already think in systems ..... just turn around and look at how you can apply that to your life now ......

Is there a library you can join ? You can usually borrow all sorts of magazines from libraries now ..... craft, fashion, art, collectables, gardening ..... get inspired .....

Look at systems for arranging your clothes in your wardrobe ..... in colours ? Tops all together ? Bottoms all together ? Drssses all together ? What will please your eye and be workable ? Do you have a handbag you really love ? Put it on display in your room. Same with a special pair of shoes .... or a hat ... or a hair accessory .....

Have you put special photos up around your house ? Have you got some favourite books you can leave out on a coffee table or hall stand, just because they please you ?

This is a form of self-care. Boy, I needed that with a vindictive and oppositional mil who used to let the kids tip out all the toy boxes at once when she came to babysit ..... grrrr ....

Back to positive thoughts. My house is so "me" now it is like a signature at the bottom of one of my paintings .....

🤗💐💕

[utopia]

@Former-Member. I was great at time management and being extremely busy and efficient in my old job. I've done a complete 180. And now have no structure at all to my days. So yes, I think this timetable is a good start.
@Zoe7 my wonderful friend. When do you leave for your holiday? I hope you get to see your gp and psych before you go. Don't forget to take a copy of your Care Plan with you. Printit out and take a magnet and stick it on the fridge or ssimilar in your holiday accommodation. You might find that it helps lift your spirits while you are away - as you can mentally tick off a few self care steps that you have done that day.
I slept for 10 hours last night. Was so exhausted after such an emotional day. Would have been good if both groups weren't both held on a Monday.
I'm going to try and go to Meditation class tonight. Even if I just lay on the floor (while others are sitting) - I think I could get some benefit from being in a 'positive' space.
I've done the dishes. Put the towels in the wash. Just about to take morning meds - find it hard to remember those & eat a banana. Then I'll try and draw up a simple schedule.
I might also write up some diversion tactics for when I get the urge to drink (instead of sleeping). Well it's a plan anyway.
I hope you manage to have a doze during the day. You need some more sleep for your body and brain.
Sending you lots of love and strength and some extra energy. ♥♥♥
Be kind to yourself.