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28 Apr 2017 10:36 PM
28 Apr 2017 10:36 PM
Thanks @Former-Member I am ok - just a bit frustrated and 'sad'. I am trying to stay positive and not let certain things get to me but it is just sitting under the surface.
28 Apr 2017 10:38 PM
28 Apr 2017 10:38 PM
28 Apr 2017 10:46 PM
28 Apr 2017 10:46 PM
@Former-Member I think I have been pushing things down for a while now as I have not felt comfortable actually asking for support. I have even been keeping some things I have been feeling from my GP. Sometimes I think it is just the same sh*t, different day and I should be getting over it - but I'm really nowhere near that. I suppose I feel like constantly going over the same thing and not getting anywhere and that I think that it gets monotonous for others to hear - so I don't say anything.
28 Apr 2017 10:49 PM
28 Apr 2017 10:49 PM
@utopia I am more than happy for you to jump in here also if you have anything to add my friend.
@Faith-and-Hope Thanks Hon - completely understand
28 Apr 2017 10:51 PM
28 Apr 2017 10:51 PM
are you in my head? I keep thinking similar things, that people are sick of me! That I 'should' have learned how to handle the crud better by now etc. Lots and lots of 'shoulds' unfortunately the crud (major depression/ptsd) for me doesnt listen to the 'shoulds' and does its own thing!
I guess for your/my team they do need to know whats going on (really going on) to be able to help appropriately. though unfortunately there's not a 'fix all' soloution out there yet that feels like more than bandaid first aid to me at the moment (now that might be too honest and not very helpful??)
I'd rather hear how you are really going than that you're 'ok' when you're not. And it wont feel monotonous to me,
hugs
28 Apr 2017 10:59 PM
28 Apr 2017 10:59 PM
I don't think there is room for both you and me in your head lol - or mine either for that matter lol
Compared to where I have been in previous months I am ok! @Former-Member I'm not good, I'm not bad - I really am somewhere stuck in the middle.
i can really see so many positive steps that I have taken - even though they are really small steps - they are still steps forward. But I also know that there are major hurdles I need to address that I am really scared to even consider. It still feels like any tiny little setback at this stage could send me right back under the water again.
28 Apr 2017 11:06 PM
28 Apr 2017 11:06 PM
28 Apr 2017 11:07 PM
28 Apr 2017 11:07 PM
28 Apr 2017 11:10 PM
28 Apr 2017 11:10 PM
That is true too @utopia
changing patterns of thinking and pathways in the brain is hard... and repetition is probably the only real way...
lj
28 Apr 2017 11:17 PM
28 Apr 2017 11:17 PM
@utopia That has been a major dilemma for me here lately though. I have not felt safe or comfortable and certainly not felt like I could ask for that support or to be able to 'talk' about anything - even with those who I am close to and I know do understand
@Former-Member I don't feel like I have been able to talk about anything from a personal persepctive at all. I have been very guarded it what I have shared and often to the point where I have simply logged off and stayed away.
I am also really concerned about going back to the psychologist and dealing with any of that stuff but I also know that the 'stuff' that keeps me from sleeping or wakes me during the night is not going away or getting any easier and that whilst this is happening I am always going to be in a place that is less than safe for me.
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