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@Zoe7 wrote:Mentally I don't have any energy to think but all I do is think! Flashbacks and thoughts consume every waking minute and nightmares at night. I can wake literally not knowing where I am and believing I am back in time and in constant pain and consumed with fear. Sometimes when I close my eyes (even during the day) I have horrible images flash in my mind - they are so real that I literally freeze wherever I am from fear.
How do I feel - defeated, lost, stuck, broken. I don't know where to turn or what to do anymore. I have lost hope that I can get past this and I would not care if I went to sleep and did not wake up.
Hugs @Zoe7
The way you describe feeling now resonates with my last post to you. It's good that you are recognising that fear is doing this to you. The more isolated we are with our thoughts and in our day - the worse this becomes. Distraction helps, as does keeping the mind and body busy. That's what I also need to do because I battle with this darknss too. It can only win if we believe what it is telling us. If we choose to listen. The best thing to do when like this is yes - stay connected, not just online but importantly in real life. Stay connected with positive others doing positive activities.
When we lose hope the bigger the lies of fear grows and takes a hold over our minds. That is what it is telling you "there is no hope". It is telling you are still in the past. The past is over - gone and dusted. It onl has a ho,d if we hold onto it. Today is he reality and tomorrow will take care of itself. Don't allow fear to dominate or listen to its lies Zoe, do not believe it as where there's life and a will, there is always hope. I am living proof. Even if life isn't perfect it isn't all evil - good shines through. We just have to see it here. We just have to see it in you and how you helped me and others. Fear and pessimism seeks to rob you of that good, that love - seeks to rob you of you. Fight back. If people like you opt out imagine the darkness of the world. Hold on.
I agree that mindfulness when in such a distressed state is near impossible, it is for me. Hope and an image of a better future fights this distortion of perception head on. But having a person of support is vital when it gets really bad. Someone to hold us up and show us some light. Keeping reaching out here and in real life to those who have your best interests at heart. And start to believe in you. The good in you - he value you have in spades as a person. Tha person who raised me up out of a dark state which not many can do. You did.
If you didn't who knows what may have resulted. You are here for a reason. Don't let irrational fear rob you of you. How you fought for us, fight now for yourself. I would not lie to you. You have what it takes to do this. It is up to us whether we choose to believe the lies or those who love us. Yes, you do have control over this my friend. Try and stay connected more during the day to push out the lies in your head. It will get better the more you do the latter and never, ever lose hope. If I can do this you will fly. Lots of love always xx
@Zoe7, reaching out to you today. I don't believe in goodbyes so not going there. You have to stay strong.
I believe in you Zoe, many have walked the same path before you, all over the world.
Try get some sunshine today Zoe ☀
Life is difficult, but not impossible 🌷
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