Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Yes @Zoe7, I saw a bit of the tennis earlier.  Missed the start of Ash Barty's match this morning, but saw the end of it.  She's won through to the 4th round now.  And of course young Alex De Minaur plays Rafa Nadal tonight, which I will be watching.  Will be switching to the cricket in between games I expect.  Aussies didnt post a very good score for the Indians to chase, so it might be an early night at the cricket.

You're pretty amazing with how much you've been doing with this garage project of yours. As for the heat ... its meant to be a little cooler here on Sunday (about 28C) but then straight back up to mid to high 30's again for the rest of the week. So respite in sight for any cool change any time soon unfortunately.  This heat is just so energy sapping!

Yeah the increased ADs will hopefully help hubby.  Its an additional one he put him on 2 months ago, in conjunction with another one.  So he's now on an SSRI plus and SNRI which is meant to be more effective in conjunction.  I know when he first went on this additional one, it did seem to help him initially.  But then seemed to fluctuate after a few weeks.  So this second one has now been doubled by his psychiatrist.  He said he may need to increase it again when he sees him in another 2 months.  With him having a diagnosis of Stage IV cancer and then Parkinsons Disease on top of it I guess its understandable that his depression and anxiety is at an all time high. Neither disease is curable, so its something he will need to live with for whatever time he has left.  Its hard for him, and me too.  Thanks Zoe for the hugs and your continued care and support.

Sherry 🤗🌸💜

[Zoe7]

It is difficult when everyone wants experience but you can only get that by getting a job in that area @MDT. I think the thing in Poland will help you in the longer term but I can understand you being concerned with the type of employment relating to what you wanting to do to be important now as well. Government and international relations would be a hard thing to get into but I do believe you have the motivation and attitude that any employer would benefit from. 

[Zoe7]

I watched Barty's game earlier and will watch De Minaur's tonight too - and switch between that and the cricket ...and keep checking on the Hurricanes as well later @Former-Member

I can only imagine how hard it is looking after hubby with all his illnesses - and how very hard it is for him too. You really do an amzing job and he is very lucky to have you as both a partner and as a carer. 

The garage is moving along slowly but I am getting there by degrees. It has seemed that there is more and more to do the more I actually do but I did expect to find things that were instantly obvious that were damaged by the flooding. Some things need to be replaced and some just discarded. I am finding it satisfying though now that I can finally get it all sorted - still aiming to have the bulk of it done by Wednesday but that might be not attainable at this stage. I have to go back to the old school again tomorrow so that will take up half a day - see how it all goes I suppose - I can only do what I can do and I am starting to get pretty worn out by it all.

[MDT]

It's hard trying to measure where I can go when I'm worrying about what has been in the past @Zoe7

I keep looking back over the history of my degree. YES i do understand that I was dealing with issues. I don't think there is any debate over this. I accept that now. I used to struggle to accept that.

The issue now is that I can't say this on an application. So in order to "explain" or "show" why there is a gap I basically have to talk up my skills. I'm lying essentially.
But I did that initially in order to find work as a tutor. I turned out to be a pretty okay tutor. But just didn't get enough students due to demand and the fact that I couldn't lie "too much" about my resume.

So here is the current pickle I'm in. I want to go overseas to this course thingy, but that requires finding accomodation and work. At the same time I want to make sure I'm doing things that are actually worthwhile and beneficial.

It's hard. VERY hard.

I'm also just very very lost.

I have saved job search websites on my desktop. That's a start.

[Zoe7]

That is a start @MDT and you have been searching out opportunities on your own as well and that is commendable  How long does this course in Poland go for? It is certainly something positive that you can add to your resume that will stand you aside from so many others.

[MDT]

til June @Zoe7

But I will likely miss February session too. The Jan session is on right now.

It sucks because that bit I was looking forward to.

Employment and work has always been an area that I've struggled with. It's just associated with heaps of stress, self worth and all that....

I look at my resume and just feel shame and I feel pathetic.

So it's a real challenge to me to actually try and figure this out. Obviously on the normal levels buton the mental health level too.....

I wish so many things were different...

[MDT]

Like all the social events and stuff @Zoe7

Yet I'm over here... reminds me of high school....

[MDT]

It's like as soon as I find something that might help me on away to somewhere better.... all these bloody obstacles get in the way to the point where it might as well be impossible to do .....


sorry I'm ranting now.

[Zoe7]

I understand you have regrets @MDT but we can't change the past - we can only work with what we have now and how we move forward with what we have is the real mark of who we are. I have said this to you before but think it is worth repeating - you are a very intelligent, capable, caring and driven young man. Some things have not fallen your way but that is not because you have not tried - go easier on yourself buddy - you are very much an exceptional human being in my eyes and I am sure others here would agree. Don't let your past determine who you can be, and will be, in the future because the future can be everything you want it to be - it just takes time.

[Zoe7]

Obstacles are just nuisances to knock over or find a way around buddy - they don't need to be permanent - see them as challenges rather than road blocks @MDT