A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

[Emelia8]

Yes @Anastasia  , but trying to prepare dinner. 🌷

[Anastasia]

All good love you x

[Bow]

Oh @Emelia8 this makes my heart sad. I’m so sorry that everything is heaping upon itself and you are in such a difficult place. Life is not fair sometimes and it feel so cruel some of the things that we have to face. 

I don’t really know what to say, I don’t have many words at the moment, but wanted to make sure you know that I am thinking about you and that I have greatly valued and appreciated your support and encouragement in the little time that I have been here. 

Can you reach out to your breast care nurse? I remember when a friend on mine went through a breast cancer journey she had a special pillow to rest in her armpit area so that her arm did not press against where her wound was. Please reach out, that is what they are there for. 

All of this and the worry of your pathology results plus the grief that you are walking through. I hope that you can in some way say goodbye in your own way. 

Thinking of you x

[Bunniekins]

@Emelia8  Oh sweetheart my heart goes out to you. I really wish I was there with you get your out of the house. Take you to a scenic place where you have peace. Here are some scenic places for you. Love peaxxx

[Former-Member]

Hugzz-n-hugzz @Emelia8, it's really hard not to get ahead if ourselves with all the 'what if's' that could come crumbling down around us. Really hard, but when we are in crisis it's even more important to fight to stay in the present, to deal with what's in front of us NOW! in this given day.

I'm not sure why we do it, maybe to avoid facing today's pain, or convincing ourselves that the knowing will make it easier if / when these things come... But I sure do know We're not wired to take on the weight of the world and all our tomorrow's at once.

As Louise Hay once declared "we must stop frightening ourselves this way" All those images in our head, and resulting emotions. 

But guess it's good you have got it out of your head hear at least, I find that takes away it's power...

Im So sorry your surgery pain lingers, and can identify with the waking without breath when you can't sleep the way you're use to. You must feel so exhausted.

It really is such a tough time for you. I don't know what else to say to try lighten your load. But maybe to picture your life back to some Sence of normality with all this behind you. That is my prayer for you Emelia8, hang in there 😢💙💙💙

[NatureLover]

@Emelia8 , I am so sorry about where you find yourself at the moment 😞

I'm really sorry that your pain is so bad, and that you're waking up panicked and struggling to breathe. I'm also sorry to hear about your father being unwell.

The pathology results from your surgeon - are they today, or next Wednesday? 

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@Emelia8 wrote:

I think a very deep dark depression is settling in on me.  I see no way through any of this.  Perhaps I too would be better off gone?

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I really hope that depression stays away, and that a way through becomes clear very soon. You would not be better off gone, dear @Emelia8 .

[Anastasia]

Spreading some 💞❤️❣️💞

dear @Emelia8 always have you in my thoughts xxx

Hello also to @Former-Member hope you are ok. Must duck to your weather "channel" and pop a message. Miss you x

[Owlunar]

@Emelia8 

Aw Em 

No wonder you are feeling so low - your FIL has just died and your father is failing and you and your husband are grieving and you can't possibly go to the funeral - and neither of you is well either - such a hard path

I hear what you are saying - you don't want to die in the same manner as your mother and you have pain after your surgery and you don't want to know about the cancer - actually neither would I - I am sure. You carry the whole load yourself and have been for a long time - I am really glad you come here and share with us - it is a small outlet but we are here and care

That pain in your left arm - same here - different cause - I can bend my arm at the elbow and tend to keep it there - it seems this is becoming a habit but still - I do deliberately move it around for therapeutic reasons - I feel empathy - I know what that feels like - 

You must feel uncertain and so much more trauma is happening. Keep reaching out

I wish I could say sometime that could ease what you are going though - I know there is little to say though - only - I am here and know it's a battle being alone in this pain but you are alone with your ailing and grieving husband.

I'm sorry you have to endure so much Em - I'm sending my best thoughts and wish I could be with you

Dec

[Former-Member]

I'll be ok thanks @Anastasia - just a sad anniversary approaching that's getting me down maybe, hope that's all it is, that suble undercurrent pulling me out to sea... difficult to fight, just have to keep head up, most peoplele seem to have forgotten, or don't care... (the global 'get over it' message) not in a good place so just say a prayer.

[Anastasia]

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Dear @Former-Member 

I hear you...Anniversaries *sigh not always helpful/needed and never forgotten. I am sorry, I understand the pulling out to sea feeling too well. Yes, people do tend to assume that once the initial distress has passed "she'll be right mate". Unfortunately we know all too well this is never the case and I am sorry you don't have care around you to feel supported/validated about your feelings. 

I hope it helps to know I hear you and 100% validate your feelings. Always here for you if you want to chat, othewise please know I have you in my corner and I care. Sending you love, hugs and prayers my friend xox

(((( @Emelia8  )))) miss our chats, love you x

(((( @Owlunar )))) sweet sister, love you too x