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Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Hi @Former-Member ...... 😘💕

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Hey @Former-Member
Quick cheerio
Darcy

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@Former-Member Just read your news about having the two closest people with serious cancers. I've been away for a while, and was amazed how strong you sound.  Take  Care

4 Yellow Roses L Holberg.jpeg

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Hi @Former-Member

Looks like the Swannies have done it tonight.  Thinking of you.

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Hey @Former-Member
Quick check in.

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Hi @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Former-Member.  Thanks for your messages and for checking up on me.  Much appreciated.

An update.  My Mum initially refused any treatment for her breast cancer.  But in the end she was convinced that there really was little choice, and that it would be better than the medication alternative, which would have been over a long period of time and would not fix the problem anyway.  Plus it would have had some particularly bad side effects for my Mum due to some of the other medications she needs to take.  So yesterday my Mum has undergone a full mastectomy left sided, including all the lymph nodes which the cancer had spread to.  I was not able to get down there to be with her, but my brother and his wife there there for her.  So it was a long day of waiting and worrying for me yesterday.  Finally got word after 7pm last night that she was finally back in the ward but not responding well to pain meds.  So I didnt get to speak to her then.  However this morning I rang and spoke to her.  She sounds great!  I think high on pain meds, which she has 'on demand'.  But she is pushing to be allowed to go home right now.  It will no doubt be a different story when the drip comes out and the pain returns. They were expecting her to be in hospital for 2-3 nights, so I hope they dont let her go home before that, no matter how hard she pushes.  But right now, she sounds just so relieved and happy that its all done.  So thats really good.

I am planning on taking advantage of a small window of opportunity in between hubbys appointments to drive down and spend 3-4 nights with my Mum and Dad from next Tuesday.  Mum will be home by then hopefully and I will be able to help out for those first few days and make sure she has all the support organised that she will need.

As for hubby, well we are still very much in the dark.  He has had lots of tests and appointments with assorted specialists, and still we do not have any definitive knowledge of what the primary source of his metastatic lung tumours are.  Whether its the renal cancer from 6 years ago or the melanoma from last year.  As the lung nodules are scattered throughout both lungs, still quite small, but deep in the lung, they are unable to biopsy the tumours to identify the source.  This is unfortunate as it affects treatment, which can be more targetted to the particular type of cancer if they know where its from.  

We have been to our nearest major hospital to do a PET-CT scan a couple of weeks ago.  The results confirmed that the lung nodules are definitely malignant cancer. Fortunately there is no evidence of cancer elsewhere in his other organs or lymph nodes, so that was a piece of good news.  Not so good news is that between when he had a CT scan and when the PET scan was done three weeks later, the tumours have grown.  And although its good news that there is currently no spread, it did not help them with finding more easily accessed cancer cells to enable subsequent biopsy to allow identification.  So mixed feelings on all that.  From what I have read, it is not uncommon to have people with metastatic cancer of unknown origin.  So now all we can do is wait to see what the Oncologist has to say on 23rd of this month, when our appointment is.  Thats the earliest available unfortunately, although he is on standby should anything come up sooner.  Not sure what the recommended treatment is likely to be.

I am just taking each day as it comes, and try to stay afloat.  My brother is also coming up to a really difficult and triggering time for him, as it will be 2 years on 22nd of this month since the car accident which severely injured him, and in which his young daughter died.  He has been phoning me more regularly again, just wanting to talk.  Plus he has been seeing his psych more regularly again, which is good.  Fingers crossed that with all this business with our Mums cancer, that it helps him keep occupied on other things, rather than to drag him further under.  My visit next week is probably coming at an opportune time for him as well as for my Mum.  Unfortunately I cant stay more than a few days as I am needed back here for hubbys many upcoming appointments.

I have not had time to make an appointment to see my own psych, although she has kept in touch with me via email, which is nice of her.  I know she is there if I need her, which is a relief. But for now at least, I am managing.  One has to, doesnt one?

Okay, totally exhausted so heading off to lie down for a bit, if not sleep.

Sherry xx

 

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Love and hugs @Former-Member ..... 💐💜💕

Thanks for checking in and sharing you news ..... will be keeping you close in thought.

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Hi @Former-Member

You are under a lot of strain, I not surprised you are exhausted. Glad you are resting when you need to. I can relate somewhat and think you are doing an amazing job keeping it together. Just want you to know that I am thinking of you. Wishing your mother and husband strength and healing for you all.

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

sending you lots of hugs and love @Former-Member HeartHeartHeart

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

hello @Former-Member

I just want to reiterate what others have said. You are a very brave, strong lady.

Your care, love and compassion for your family would be helping them so much at such difficult times

your psychologist recognises that you need continual support and it is good that she is emailing you regularly

try to fit in a quick appointment with her at some stage...sometimes we dont realise how we are in ourselves when we operate on auto pilot... better to take an hour out and check in... you will feel some relief and your psychologist can check up on you also

I am relieved to hear that you do feel supported by others who have responded to you on here.... so very important

keep on checking in when you can.. I know it is one more thing to do