Depression Dementia Dad

[Former-Member]

Glad your hubby is good to you @Former-Member, and follows through with treatments - and yep - that love helps it all make sense.

Nice you can tell i love my dad, Bro2 reckons "he doesn't deserve it" (our help), & he would never burden his family like this (olans to 'top' himself)... I don't know why they're so hard, nor do i know what exactly they expect would happen to dad if i wasn't  here,  good grief... 

Bro2 did take dad to S/W Sydney Hospital to visit dad's last living sibling, my 86yo aunt whose now on palliative care herself,  organs shuttng down 😞  Poor dad.  

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member ...

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member
Just saw a mouse run behind our wood heater and thought of you - has there been any more rodent activity at your place?

[Appleblossom]

Thinking of you @Former-Member 

Hope Easter was alright for you.

Families often seem irrational.

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Appleblossom, for thinking of me, ditto (though don't remember what thread to find you :/) Only saw one emmediate family member over Easter & hewas real 'het-up' over a local 'churchie' pressuring him to attend church. Then went on how God has failed him so####... hohum 😞

But today i took dad to visit his sister in pal care and talked with more 'normal' calm family. I wish things were different.

Are you ok? Did u perform The Messiah anywhere? Seems to be popular around Easter ❤❤❤

@Former-Member, funny u ask about the mouse. Dad's room has that dead mouse smell so i spent 4hrs Saturday going through 1/2.his room, sorting, removing dust, and things not sorted for years, sad. I was sure it had to be in this area near the door but had to work my way slowly around but not there, no dead mouse. BUT this was the perferct excuse to sort the m#und / hoard that balanced procariously head high on top of full drawers...

Tossed 1/2 a black garbage bag of rubbish, removed big tools to shed, boxed electricals etc. Got rid of sooooo mych thick dust and mopped the floor properly.

Medical X-Rays pulled together (so heavy). Hi piles of Mail seemed to stop 2013, weird, but guess thats when the dementia started.

Getting back to the mouse / rat - when i opened dad's big built-in wardrobe - oh my goodness! thos is where it must be 😲, but by this time i was in agony (overdoing it re back issues) and only had energy to put things in order for bed.

This was Saturday, spent most of yesterday in bed. Bit better today - even drove dad 1hr to visit his sister In Pal Care, but can't face the wardrobe. Also, have to be careful cause it makes dad anxious to be clucking around in his room. And he says he cant smell it. But must prioritise the rodent issue. Think he HAS found the talon bate. Saw him late one night a week ago, 3nights ago i set a rat trap but no catch yet. Really hoping theres only the one. lol

Bet you regret asking now @Former-Member lol Did you put bate or traps out for your new visitor?

[Grasshopper3]

@Former-Member @Former-Member
I have a mouse in the house too!
Must have gotten in while we were away and I just can't seem to catch the little b#@$#rd! I have traps everywhere, he eats the cheese/peanut butter straight off.
There must be more than one, I see him in the corner of my eye at night... Tom and Jerry at its best.
I must ring a Pest Controller tomorrow, I want them gone when we come back in May!
I hate the smell of dead mice pppfffffew
Good luck to you too!!
Grasshopper3

[Former-Member]

That time of year @Grasshopper3, it gets worse with no movement in the house. Good luck! lol

[Former-Member]

Ha ha @Former-Member I love a good rodent story. @Grasshopper3 hope you manage to trap your intruders.
I have hidden a number if baits (behind freezer, back of cupboards) as we have the dogs need to be careful. Will need to get some throw packs to put under our house. Have bought one of those sonic things that you plug in as I spotted it at supermarket, had one at a previous house, thought it helped then.
Nooski mouse traps are the best we have used (got ours from Bunnings), caught more than 15 one year using these but needed to use baits as rats chewed through the heavy duty water pipes under house.

[Former-Member]

I'll rip dads wardrobe apart when my back's up to it @Former-Member. Glad u like my rodent rave lol

@Owlunar, u asked how the easter holiday has been? Haha😏 sometimes i find it so hard to answer that question "how are you?" - to 'nutshell' all the complexities... Especially if, like me, it's a struggle knowing how i FEEL, looking inside - a conflicting mix of... which one will i pull out today? Ha, so these days I default to referring to activities (as a measure of how i am) & prattle a few of them off, preferrably the good ones - the ground is more firm there...  

Saturday i worked on decluttering 1/2 dad's room - looking for the dead mouse smell 😞 it took ages (on top of washing & buzzing around with other jobs...  yep,  i Was on a roll, had energy, but unfortunately paid for it later - overdid it & crashed with much pain (spine & legs) Sat night & Sunday. But yesterday i pushed through & drove dad to see he's dying sister, my aunt, lovely lady of faith,  a salvation army officer,  mother of x7, 85yo widow.  Its 1hr trip through the city traffic so Mon holiday was the quieter time. 

Dad / we got One visitor hete - a disturbed angry Bro4 cranky about this & that (like really angry in my face), but he helped  turn clocks back for me & put smoke detector back up (new battery). He's a foot taller than me 🙂  it was good that he calmed before he left. 

I fixed the ext screen door to my room that had been tampered with last weeks after i changed the locks 😞 I dont know what could be in here /my room that they want (guessing its Bro3), all i ask is that i'm present if tthey want to remove anything, especially in my room.... 😖 they exhaust me.

My sis interprets my boundary as a power struggle & she refuses to 'ask permission' (from me)... Just no concept of mutual respect & plain good manners. 

Bro3 has taken offense that i don't trust him (how can i? ) & worried about his stuff he left here when he moved out 8yrs ago. Bro2 thinks everyone should have keys to come & go as they please... But i can't handle that. Should I? Its open house here when we're home but not when asleep or out. I think that's more than fair, especially given the emnity between us, and abuse.  - not that any of them bother coming much, pitiful actually - poor dad. Mum said she my sister & bro1 & bro3 hardly came - didnt think it was this bad.  

Today i'll try moving more (not much good so far )
Tomorrow - i have apt with cardiologist re hypertension. 

This is how i am,  but I'm laying down for siesta again 

Lapses ❤❤❤

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

With all that happening it would be hard to answer how your Easter was - my stars - your sibs and a rodent - enough for an episode of a sitcom - aw gee - 

I can't stand mice - I have a squeal I never knew I had until my cat who was a young cat then - brought a live mouse into my bedroom and I stood on the bed squealling and I really was embarrassed but my old GP told me that is normal and even men can squeal like that when there are mice around

awwwwwwwww - shivers - Not clipart pics today

Your sibs - where do they get off? - this is your father's home and you are his official carer - your bro has grown up - why would he need a key to come and go? Why would anyone? That is bizarre - 

And of course they exhaust you - they are unreal - perhaps your mother let them come and go but it's a no-no - a big NO NO - atm this is your home and your father's home and you need the privacy

Your sister - sheesh she is a control freak - maybe she has BDP if she sees your personal boundaries as a power struggle - you need your privacy in your father's home while you are living there - 

I know it's extreme but I did this when I was sharing the house with my ex-h after our marriage has actually broken down - for privacy I had a yale lock put on my bedroom door - then I could know no one could get in my room and get at my stuff - I'm serious - with your sibs behaving like a lot of angry teenagers you need you feel safe and feel your own things are safe and your sis is a control freak - 

No wonder you are tired - my stars - anyone would be

I am losing track of all of this - but get it - you have to get the rodents out of the house - and your Dad has to accept your clearing things there cause if there is one mouse there are more - there is rarely just one that got lost somehow - mouse traps or a cat? Probably mouse traps - and hold a lighted match to the bait on the trap - it's harder for the mouse to nibble it off then - I wish I was there to help with the mouse traps - I have done a lot of that through my life

I'm glad you took your Dad out to see his sister - that was a good day for that - and yes - with all the clutter in that house it is going to be tough work for you and it will take time - I guess your sibs wonder what might be there - it would help if they did some clearing out but then I think you will do it best because you care about your Dad and I think you also want your Mum's room left alone for the time being

And it is easier to over-do things when you have so much on your plate so all the best tomorrow with your BP check

And good news - my daughter is home from hospital and is a bit sore and drowsy - she did have endometriosis - I thought she did - the rest of us have all had it so what else could it be

It's not easy Lapses - and you have a birthday sometime soon - I believe - 

Thinking of you right now - and those sibs are a nightmare - I seem to remember one brother is okay - and yeah - poor Dad

Dec