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Not awful @Former-Member - you are not going insane or anything - what you feel is perfectly natural under incredible pressure
This are toxic arond your mother and whew - she is trying to control you still and no one seems to notice that you had a pretty severe accident and (thank God) you were not injured or worse.
But you must have pain all over your body and feel really shaken up - and still your mother wants you to go down there and I am sure someone is trying to tell you something
Maybe something like this - you have gone into the toxic environment at least twice since I have known you and this is a far better thing that to be there at the end - you went and helped out when things were pretty dreadful at your parents' place and it was stressful for you both times - you did the better thing - and now nothing can stand in the way of what is coming - whether you are there or not - your mother will die and I really feel it will be a relief as it was when my mother died - I wasn't in a hurry to be there then either - and after all this I can say I never did
And your brother has been at it again - yeah - they need to let go - and you are not wrong or bad or thoughtless - you are incredibly thoughtful
This is so hard Lapses - you are in my thoughts - yesterday was even more busy than most Fridays but I had time to think of you with life happenning as it does
Lots of cyber-hugs Lapses
Dec
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