Lived Experience Forum

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Captain24,

Sounds like things are pretty crap for you at the moment. I'm really sorry you are feeling like this. That feeling of trying but there seems to be a hurdle every time isn't fun. 

I wish I could offer you some wisdom or some solutions but for now all I can say is I get it how you feel, and I'm sorry that life is so challenging for you right now. I really do hope things pick up for you very soon @Captain24. 

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

[Captain24]

Im just a constant burden to everyone. 

[tyme]

It may seem to you that you are a burden @Captain24 , but have you asked?

I can't speak for others, but I can speak for myself - no, you are NOT a burden at all. You are in a space many on the forums have also shared. So if anything, we are ones who are able to share the hope we have tasted of.

We may not be able to give you all the answers, but we can share our powerful stories of our journey to build a sense of connection, belonging and hope.

I've been in that dark dark space where I saw no light for years. It is through connection that helped me get out of that space.

Take care,

tyme

[Christheart]

@Captain24 you are not a burden. If you left there would be a gaping hole in society. 

I know this for myself. Even though I wish I could leave, if I left I would leave a vacuum in space, for my family, my friends, my work. There's certain responsibilities I have that no one else could pick up. 

You are not a burden!

[Christheart]

@Captain24 

https://youtu.be/QT2KNvzovHM

[Captain24]

Thanks @tyme 

I feel like a burden would be a better way to put it. I feel like I’m just always negative. Which is probably because I am. 

I am having trouble staying safe at night and feel like it’s a constant struggle and exhausting. I feel like I’m just always in a battle with myself.  

I thought my mum was a trigger but I didn’t take the dog for a walk with her this afternoon since it is raining but I still ended up in the same dark place at the same time. 

You have done really well to be where you are now of years of darkness. Well done. Maybe there is some hope after all

[Captain24]

Wow @Christheart that was

powerful. It broke my heart and I’m sobbing now.

Thank you. I really needed to see that. 

[Sirius]

Hi @Captain24,

It was really nice to see you in the group chat last night. 😊

It sounds like you're sitting with some strong feelings at the moment and I can also hear that you’ve been putting in a solid effort every day, especially with work.

Living with periods of depression, I’ve had similar feelings surface over the years, at times leaving me feeling like I have nothing left in the tank. The best strategy I’ve found to move through these feelings is to share how I’m feeling with someone who understands.

I know you mentioned you’ve got a GP and therapist appointment lined up very soon, but I’m wondering whether you have friends and family you feel safe talking to? When we reach the point where we want to give up, it’s always best to reach out, just as you’ve done today.

I’m going to send you an email to check-in that you’re safe and to provide some extra support if you need them. Please keep an eye out in your inbox. In the meantime, here is a list of services that you can contact 24/7 if you need to reach out for support:

Lifeline: 13 11 14
SANE Counselling Service: 1800 187 263 (Our lines are open Monday to Friday, 10am - 10pm)

I’m so pleased to hear that you have found a community of support here, please remember that you’re not alone and you are not a burden. 💜

Sirius✨

[Captain24]

Hi @Sirius

The group chat was quite raw as it was actually something that came up earlier in the day when I called online. 

I don’t actually have anyone that I can open up to. My parents are definitely out. I don’t have a partner. My best friend lives 15hrs away and doesn’t understand anyway. I have a couple of friends that I can share a little with just not the full depth. 

So other than here it’s a battle on my own. 

[Sirius]

I can really empathise with your situation @Captain24 having been there myself.

That's why I also included some other external supports that weren't friends or family related. You're definitely not on your own, and from my experience sometimes reaching out to someone that doesn't know you and will listen to your experience and express your feelings without any judgement is the best kind of support you need in these moments. It's just a gentle reminder from my end. 😊

If you happen to feel up to it here are a couple of places you can contact:

Lifeline: 13 11 14
SANE Counselling Service: 1800 187 263 (Our lines are open Monday to Friday, 10am - 10pm)

Sitting with you tonight and many others in the forum community too. 💜

Sirius✨