Lived Experience Forum

[LostAngel]

ok so this is just me venting ok ,as far as getting councilling goes I have decided to get in contact with relationships Australia on monday for phone councilling I plan to ring them on monday next week meanwhile I am reaching out to family and still overthinking,anxiety which Im now projecting on others a bit too much ,I said to one family member this morning that I either need a holiday or I need to go to the phyche ward to get away from myself,im sorry Im always so negative on here the struggle is changing my mind to positive thoughts in regards to myself Im usually much kinder to those around me all though at times now Im not being kind to them too I feel as if my anxiety has made me lie to myself hard to tell which of my thoughts are based on real and true facts at the momment it seems like alot of my thinking to myself is lies and mostly wrong,I literally had a family member exlain the other day that what I was thinking in the momment wasnt true and that they where not thinking such things that I thought they where thinking of me ,in terms of today I dont want to deal with the messy house and despite needing and wanting to be social probably excessively social at times maybe to ward of anxiety or whatever is going on in my head its crazy to think that you cant trust your on thoughts cause of anxiety,depression,at the moment today I need to hibernate in one room of the house and just block things out but its hard to block your own flawed thinking about yourself I may try watching shows that are comedy rather than serious ,as the saying goes all work no fun and I supose being social can in itself feel like work at times cause Im just trying so hard to improove myself in all different areas of my life,Im taking on advice from family even when I dont like having to be given advice I mean I know their advice is for my own good ,unlike my thinking patterns so even though I dont like having someone tell me advice regarding issues I know its for my own good so I guess thats nearly the only thing I can trust at the momment cause my thoughts are so mixed up or too many thoughts,this weekend Ive taken off time from being social after having a day out yesetrday frankly I need to calm down my thinking,do something to relax ect you think you should be able to believe yourself right but its hard if you cant believe all of your own thoughts are actually true. so here I am in a secluded part of house scoffing corn chips and about to watch some shows to distract my thoughts I must sound pathetic how do family put up with me being like this but yet family understands and are suportive ect otherwise id be in real trouble but thank goodness there not going anywhere its good to have family along for the long haul,got a feeling I need to be more gratefull to them all right now than how Im being family right now but anyway stay well everyone,have a good weekend,I may journal all my thoughts out that might help to monday,also feel a bit undeciplined at the moment for some reason ,being so serious I need some fun take care fellow forumites LostAngel

[ShiningStar]

Hi @LostAngel 

It's just so hard when mental health issues take over and everything becomes jumbled and confused and even trusting ourselves doesn't feel safe or reliable 

Escaping from yourself and your own thoughts is just so difficult  Sometimes I wish that I could just scoop my thoughts up and place them into 'a cone of silence' just to have some respite from the constant internal dialogue which at times is relentless and so exhausting!

I really love how despite everything that is happening for you, you can consider your family's advice and be open to other possibilities. This in itself is so challening, especially when our thoughts often compel and encourage us to hold a very different truth about an experience.

Towards the end of your post you mentioned that you were eating corn chips and trying to distract yourself by watching a show  I just wondered if perhaps this was just one great example of being able to trust yourself, as you're honouring what you need at this particular moment in time 

Take care of yourself,

ShiningStar  

[LostAngel]

Hi @ShiningStar  thank you for understanding x been trying to use some humour to help myself ,you really seem to understand about thought issues ect ,your so right it is exhausting!

[Shazi55]

Hi @LostAngel 

I'm so impressed with your choice of corn chips & comedy! 

It's tough breaking through our own negative thoughts and feelings 

I have a few strategies for these negative feelings and thoughts I carry...

I write a gratitude list with my morning cuppa and I often need to list the things about myself that I am grateful for. It helps me to reframe my thoughts moving into my day and helps me to have a better start than I would have 

I apologise to myself!  When I catch myself telling myself that I'm stupid (a narrative given to me in childhood that I have continued) or being mentally self berating; I apologise. 'That's not true. I'm so sorry I said/thought that'. I even say it out loud if I'm alone (and sometimes if I'm not lol). 

I get my journal out and write my negative thought out in black pen. Then I phone a friend and read it out to them and ask them how they see me. They always see it so differently, so wonderfully differently... and I right that straight down in my journal... in beautiful colours!! It really helps me to see things in a kinder-to-self-way

While doing these things isn't a magical quick fix (nothing ever is) I have over time found my thoughts have changed dramatically. I am far far more positive mentally and I continue doing this self care at the first hint of self negativity. 

But I also make sure I do corn chips & comedy type things as MUCH as possible... laughter and light-heartedness is a powerful torch in the darkness 

[LostAngel]

thanks so much @Shazi55 I might try something like that too,today has been an improovement for me in fact I feel kind of well rested from just shutting everything else out and doing corn and comedy shows yesterday ended up watching such a funny show spent hours yesterday just watching that show it was funny relatable and helped me feel better,today I feel well rested,so yes might give grattitude journaling a try 

[ShiningStar]

Hi @LostAngel 

My pleasure and absolutely no worries at all   I could really relate to the experiences that you shared 😊

That’s so great that you’re feeling a little better today!

There’s definitely a lot to be said for corn and comedy! 

Take care,

ShiningStar 

[Shazi55]

Well done you!!

I've had a 'couch potato/refuse to get dressed' kinda of a day... I've spent it contemplating what really makes me feel content! 

... I might not even get dressed till late tomorrow after because I realised that TODAY made me content lol 

If you try any of my or others suggestions please let me know how you feel doing them and if it helped even a smidgen, because even a tiny little smidgen is something to build on 

💛

[frog]

Hey @LostAngel just wanted to say that I read your post and hope today is kind to you. I'm in a similar headspace off and on atm and just wanted to say I get how hard it is.

@ShiningStarhello! Dk if we've me but good to see you here.

Wow @Shazi55 I love some of those strategies - apologizing to yourself - using a journal to test what you're telling yourself - I am going to adopt those.

Go well today everyone, as well as you're able. Take care.

[Shazi55]

Hi @frog @LostAngel @ShiningStar

I hope you can get some benefit from my favourite strategies! 

The most powerful thing we can do is to change our inner narrative. 

It takes time but it can work wonders... even on down days I feel (finally) there's still a sense of contentment within. I have tamed the waves and enjoy calmer seas these days! 

Good luck everyone 🌻💛🌻

[ShiningStar]

Hi @frog 

Thank you so much for your welcome  I don't think that we've met, but it's really nice to meet you too 

Hi @LostAngel 

Thinking of you today and hoping that things are a little easier for you 

Hi @Shazi55 

I really love your strategies! Thank you so much for sharing them with us 

Take care everyone,

ShiningStar