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Looking after ourselves

Sharona1
Contributor

Not feeling good

My son has complex mental health issues. He does not accept he has mental illness as such. He sees it as a symptom of something else and that something else changes. He follows strict diets etc because hair tests and online people say he has massively high copper. He sometimes thinks he has bad entities. He believes he has complex medical conditions that no tests ever support. He totally obsesses and talks of nothing else, when he does speak. Not exaggerating. He has been in his room since sometime yesterday and its now 2:30. He hardly eats. He is very angry and shows no empathy at all for others. He cannot handle light or sound. He wanted me to cut his hair and threatened me with his own limitless self destruction and a few days later suicide if I dont cut his hair. It's too complex to explsin in a post. There's so much more. This has been going on for a long time in one way or another. He refuses to see psychologists etc. I can barely communicate with him about anything real generally  as I'm.too scared of the con- sequences. There is only me. Thst was a preface to saying...and I'm not doing well. I feel so overwhelmed with not being able to do or change anything, not being able to express anything, feeling and being abandoned by any medical help. Nit knowing where to turn. I feel Ive left it almost too late gor myself.  I can't explsin how I feel but when I saw he had chopoed into the bench I felt scarily out of control. I feel like I am carrying so much...my own health and a stressful job as well, plus constant cleaning trying to keep dome semblance of humanity where we live as he doesnt care...and feelings of resentment and congusion towards whst on earth I am supposed to do...I just feel like I am a bomb ready to explode or implode. It will be one single tiny thing and I will break never to return. 

1 REPLY 1

Re: Not feeling good

Hi @Sharona1,

That sounds like an incredibly difficult situation happening for you at home. It is so challenging and distressing when someone we are supporting doesn't recognise that they might be unwell or is unwilling to engage with support. On top of that some of what you describe sounds really scary. When you say that he threatens to self harm or suicide to influence your behaviour, that sounds really terrifying and must leave you feeling trapped. I also wanted to check, when you say 'he had chopped into the bench' do you mean he used a weapon to attack the bench? If so I imagine that behaviour must be pretty intimidating to be around.

It is fantastic you are reaching out on the forums, but I would also encourage you to call the 1800 RESPECT 24/7 helpline, as they support people who are experiencing behaviour that is controlling or intimidating from people in their lives, and they absolutely get calls from people in relation to their children and when mental health issues are part of the picture. 

You mentioned as well feeling abandoned by medical help and I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm not aware of what services you have tried, but wanted to make sure you have the Crisis Assessment and Treatment Team number to call if you are worried about his safety or your own, or if his psychosis does not feel manageable in the community at this point. Here is a website with the numbers for each state. 

It is also really understandable in this istuation you are feeling really overwhelmed, alone, and resentful. I am wondering if it would be good for you to have the number for Carers Australia. They support people who are caring for people in their lives and offer a number of different services including counselling and linking people to support groups. Their national number is 1800 242 636.

I hear that you feel you are going to break or explode, and I'm so sorry it's come to that point. There are many people on the forums who can relate to those feelings. As a start here are some 'closed' moderated discussions we had on 'carer burn out' and 'helping a loved one who doesn't want help'. I've written a lot, I'll let some forum members jump in now!

Take care,

Tortoiseshell  

 

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