Depression Dementia Dad

[Faith-and-Hope]

Listening to you @Former-Member .....

It’s always been hard going for you there, and you are doing so well with it. Many other people would have packed up and left, and your sister would have put your Dad in care and sold the house, probably ........ 😔

Glad you have some lovely company in Georgia ...... 🌷🐕


Missing you @Zoe7 ...... 💚💐🦋💕

[Appleblossom]

@Former-MemberStill waiting for pics.

What can I say.  Maybe because you are YOU and you were a nurse, you feel you have to sort all this stuff out.  It sounds as if everybody in your family was seriously damaged. Not easy.  I know you are making right decision re Bro and money. Driving past you like that shows he did not really need the lift. There is too much toxicity and game playing.  Stay as long as you feel the need, but dont blow your health by pushing Blood Pressure too hard.  At least the various workers somewhat acknowledge the huge difficulty of your family dynamics. You will have the memories of your dad keen to go to war service celebration.  It is hard and sad when families get that messed up.  Thinking how it has happened to mine, including the extended family who think they are normal.

[Former-Member]

Hey @Former-Member 

Hope things continue to improve and that the family will start to come together more.

Have been wondering how you are going with the dog's toilet training - hope there is some improvement in that department.

Things steady here - usual ups and downs of MI without major crisis.

Darcy

[Former-Member]

Oops,  sorry for bad edit

@Former-Member, yes, things have improve / srttled down with the siblings. But not without cost, i think my sister will go another 6yrs without speaking to.again, or forever (cause i yelled at her a couple weeks back - which shes telling everyone was abuse :/). Pitty cause we.only recently started communicating again after years.

I just cant be all things to all people. Yes,  yelling is not good but neither is what shes been doing.  Sucks!  I just can't reach my sister's heart through the wall of misunderstandings & Anx. I'm not sure my 'family' will ever come together - i couldn't even get sis & bro1&3 to come to mum&dad's 80th. Bro3&4 came but found out later mum sevretly payed their way cause they 'couldnt afford it"  Here i was paying for mum & dad & myself (on a pension) & they cant even carry themself.  Bro2 complIned he couldn't get cooperation from sibs to do a 24hr vigil for mum's last days (didnt even ask me). 

Apart from living away most my life - i dont understand why they seem so angry with me or dont have time for me. And even actively hostile this time. Really Hurts. But maybe God has pulled them away to go ve me a break.  

Ha ha, the dog's toilet training solution has been to evict them overnight. So much better. Found a big plastic kennel & couch seat at a roadside pickup. Shoved mum's blanket & jumper in there & they're coming to terms with thT (know their place). Its goodothey have each other. Stopped barking now too. Still gotta watch the little male dog & let tgem out every hour through the day, but being outside tge back door works.

"ups and downs of MI without major crisis" sounds close to normal Darcy, a good thing i guess - but still hard i imagine.

[Former-Member]

The nurses were running too late today - so i had yo top&tail dad & rush him out the door with a packed snack for B'fast. Don't  know why my alarm didnt go off (must get my old blackberry out). Tried to ring a couple friends for a chat - but no answer.  Trying to work out what to do with my 'me' time while dad out.  4hrs left,  any ideas?  

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member "me time" sounds lovely.

What kind of things speak to you as a part of "me time?"

Personally I usually opt for a pedicure, massage, walk in nature, coffee date alone or with a friend 🙂

What kind of things are you tossinga round? 🙂

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member, water comes to mind but nothing close. Maybe a massage if not too late - or maybe a sleep... But out of the house could be good.

[Former-Member]

Yes I love water too @Former-Member 🙂

I wonder if there are any walk in massage options near you? Like the chinese medicine massage places?

Are you feeling tired? Perhaps you could try and blanace some time out and about along with a rest where you can lay down and listen to some soothing music such as ocean or rainforest sounds? 

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member
Hair wash at hairdresser? Coffee and a muffin?

[Former-Member]

Um, yes, a massage would require taking a shower lol Wish i lived near a river to go walking by the water. I have decided to chill at home 'WITHOUT DISTRACTIONS!" This is the first time i can remember relaxing in this house (re mum's untreated MI & alcoholism) - terrible to say that now she's died recently - but its true - there was no relaxing or fun in this house, not even as a child, not that i can remember... But i do miss mum still, not sure what. It started last week (being alone here with daf out) i started processing the loss i guess. If that makes sense... Massages and walks... Are short brief things i can do to break up my day with dad. He is ok alone for short periods.

Does that sound balanced @Former-Member?